Having out of the blue, encountered a magnificent truth-talking mother, at something i never attend - an 'event' - merely popping through a small town to the SPAR, as if by 'magic' she confirms " hetoo.. he just wasn't there for our kids... "
But... no disrespect to her as i only respect truth - the real 'taboo' versions, that don't have any real illness or even disfigurement they are the cants and vanities no one will ever speak of, to then have to tolerate the most superb singing, loud in my ear, to get a bit more of her super-truth, and hearing the songs...
Moaning about every single thing long ago.... especially if seaman, as if they had no choice to bugger off abroad... which is in and of itself fascinating. Just how pity-poor me my once chosen medium is deep down - folk music but the hearty version.
But nobody will write a song or even hear mine, on what actually it means to actually love and parent a kid. Twenty five years ago, knowing one had a challenge ahead, a useless once co-parent, addicted to her telly and nailvarnish; one must just accept and act - someone has to give the then two year old some real life education, experience, travel, and an idyllic childhood surrounded by many an animal, on NO money in my piggy bank. Never mind all the tough politics to keep some society going for a kid if you live up in t6he hills deliberately away from many of them, lost souls, in the valley of Hay, below... as you can't apply your own enjoyed hermitude, to them - that's a form of abusetoo.... and my ohh my the laziness or just stuckness of the parents around who came in from the South Eastern towns and cities, so they said to allow their kids a healthy country bumpkin childhood but my ohh my when it came to actually running their kids up the hill to about the only household left around that had a whole menagerie, precisely for that very reason - only the kids to learn from and enjoy, forget it.
But there's always a solution: even if your day is about 15 hrs on - totally in the 'space' with them, no phones, no work, one hundred percent with child... always. And any cooking from scratch or even a bit of cleaning you have kid involved so they learn - which slows you down in those essentials. You still have to make a bit of money to keep you ticking over, so guess what you do with all this online, even then - 99 ..2000... you utterly hate the stuff. Obvious the internet even then had made half the world begin to go wonky. But you get up every single day at well before dawn, five am.. even half past four, to figure how to use the thing - in those days just selling rarer oldish books, and no matter WHAT you put a few hours in every day BEFORE kiddo wakes up.... so that when kiddo wakes up you are 100% in the space with kiddo.... always.
Not only what you want to be doing as there is nothing else on this planet that matches it for satisfaction and enjoyment and just love of it, and ive done things even for wages 99% of the planet - or at least the anglosheric mad part, would give away their kids to do... but also it is any parents duty.
Thing is though.... when for 25+ years you have reset your body clock, necessarily, to farmer hours, or just healthy lifestyle hours as i know one thing for sure as does the science: you cannot have too much UV/IR, and 99% dont get even basic healthy levels (and thus also you do as much of kid life as possible OUTdoors even breakfast 2/3 the year - saves on messtoo), not only does one gradually become so much healthier in ones core, than ever before, once that reset has fully bitten.... unfortunately one gets less 'healthy' from one taboo side effect, it is quite extraordinary as i have discovered over a decade plus of attempting to recombine (as never mind it takes two to raise a kid ideally, it is also the ONLY way smaller landholdings are at all economically sustainable) that almost nobody will actually talk to you again, if you tell them the disabling truth: As i always awake at 0530 latest, thats what my whole system is set to and has been for years and i do love it, too.... ehhh... well your 10pm out in a pub at night, even if i also gave up the grape too as that just interferes with being parent.... never mind want to live in rural splendidness, the drink and driving laws ramping up turn of the century
put an end to even thinking about that tragedy...
"your 10pm is my two in the morn... in fact I'm as good as dead from even eight"
you may as well be saying " i never loved my kid, i was just pretending, ...i only know how to hate"
as they'll never speak to you again, as if you have admitted to some actually lethal contagious virus. ...
Ninety nine percent. Maybe even point nine.
