Now, Sunday Morning ....and her eyes don't tell lies

This site (best bits around early 2023 when on posts here i attempted a big push with comprehensive argument 'posts',  to try and get the thing into a film, as i alone pushed forward transparency in 2006 to ALLOW the superb film 

 depicting how in UK (NOT Europe) the Nazis of the social services  AND other 'services' treat dysfunctional families for their own profit and pension pots, eventually to be made. Prior to me in 05-06 nobody would have dreamed that film could be made.

Sadly though other 'campaigner's did not do the WORK -  you always need to do, to RETAIN the legal progressions - especially  from 2013ish when the government started to fight back and put in new secrecy laws (i was busy being wounded over my daughter  - i will never know the truth but likely the justice ministry encouraged the  sociopath step father - seen with copper mates over the years,  to do just that - use her as weapon to finish me off)

UK is finished. It  was then.

I long ago accepted. 

And have MANY  thousands of readers who check in as I  daily trying to  write up a FUN engaging version of actual reality. 

https://www.ralphschism.com/

eg yesterday. The things you aren't allowed to say....but i would to my own daughter if she had children. 

https://www.ralphschism.com/2026/09/how-to-cure-all-yer-adhd-autism-ocd.html

And recently quite a few on 'mentul elf' - i deliberately play with words as i do not wish to be Google stereotyped - as MOANING DOES NOT WORK!

And as THE one person, in Britain, only,  me, even if we did not even have a TV,  who changed the culture legally to USE new media for social justice purposes i despair.  I  for example made it 'normal' from about 2007   for new campaigning groups to use online - example Heidi Newman's superb Mothers4Justice which started around then as my law change had made it 'normal' and permissable for them  to use personal story to highlight Maoist [to quote Lord Justice Wall a few years later re the social worker system]  behaviours.  Heidi a friend who a few years ago attempted to help me get clicks to crowdfund a bit of work on the film (my unused fakebook looking for any support, she can be seen to have supported with likes etc)   i saw over the years from 2007ish, especially 2010 and on, how that perfect initial use of online turned into a mad descent into competitive victimhood, and so many made up  or exaggerated 'conditions' to seek likes and fake online friends and attention - it always is fake.  

What you can't say to anyone in this awful land is ONLY the really good small books (literature NOT self help which is ALL fake) will not just cure you but also in time enable you to tolerate the tyrannies..

I keep lists here. 

https://leftovers2022.blogspot.com/

And most of all though i am certainly lucky in that over time  earlier difficulties (tough weird childhood even if in the wilds of the Welsh Hills)  receded and i know that almost ALL modern  'treatment' for mental crises is wrong - i have decades studied it as a hobby - an intellectual pursuit actually finding it stimulating knowing just how WRONG a society can be... 

In my lifetime i have seen or listened to (from my radio listening to the BBC World service even in my 20s a night stuck in Rotterdam  - the rock music too loud for me i would have my long wave radio with me for compony)    how an entirely wrong version of 'mental health has gradually arisen 

https://www.ralphschism.com/p/mental-elf-roundup.html

i attempt to write up my own LIFETIME insights via MANY i have known who are sufferers- plenty of mainly mothers i would go to court with from 2006ish as their lay legal ONLY last chance of retaining their kids... and from around 2010ish so many cases had slurs on their mental health from authority.

I know from an earlier life - my family had celeb connections i ENTIRELY rejected and lived among the yeomanry, ONLY, how all news warps reality, but have noted of late how this  tragic matter in USA is said to be setting a new bar worldwide as to the defence of legally insane, and listened to a few talks on it ....

BUT WHAT IS INTERESTING.... in fact the true shock, is how in the 'comments' - i rarely bother looking at (it may be in another earlier video i shall list later) so many describe how a MAJORITY of Americans are on psychotropic 'medicines' !!!

BUt i don't trust the 'self reporting' tragically maddish person who inhabits these comments we saw arise in late 00s...(AND DESTROYED ALL SIMPLE SANE ANTI STAE ACTIVISM) 

 i do trust a few comments from dental receptionists i have seen who say " when patients come to the dentist they have to by law fill out a form saying what meds they are on.. and the majority are on one form or other of anxiety pill, anti depressant, sleeping pill...." 

In short as this transfers gradually to UK you are even more fucked than ever....  

YEARS of philosophical discussion with a few fairly ok minds left  - we have concluded: ONLY engaging even fun writing can save your lost souls... and your kids' society from becoming Lord Of The Flies 

what ralphschism tries to do.... but nobody ever helps or even cares..why i enjoy riffing there, as i know you have to be a silly dreamer to get ANYthing done...and in UK EVERY english will always slag you off....

why i love a rare moment when someone agrees with me, twice! God it's heaven.... even if she won't dare give me a call and go for a walk in the hills all you ever want in life...
(ALL ENglish just scared of even talking about reality and thus they fight by instinct to shut you up...she didn't)

 

The opposite of emotional cripplegate

Now....what is the honest truth about this society?

Myself as i say " i am European" but that doesn't mean some political stance or even 'romantic' embrace,  it actually means that over the last 40 years of my life - from in fact the age of 18, i would spend at least 2/3 of my working life and more significant personal life, in Europe,  and  then also various other countries of the world. I only had to 'settle' in UK,  exclusively, only when as of around 2003 due an 'opposing household'  failing to keep to the  extremely sane deal made before our child was born,  that we would not bring her up in UK.   

I do not refer to 'holidays' Europe i mean a range of places usually off the beaten track. As apart from anything else as of turning age 30 i decided i would always live in rural quietude once more similar to where i had raised myself (in the very wilds of N Wales). All cities or big towns  are the same old nonsense, everywhere. 

Anyway my funsite Ralphschism has endless audio essays on all sorts of reasoning rather brutal, why you should leave this dastardly little aisle... and as I am phenomenally literate in a non wanker-way meaning i just drifted into all the greats of literature organically - and meandered especially the 'small' books, e.g. Coetzee's Michael K (i think his best) not just his Nobel worthy, for nobody else but me.... Basically to occupy myself travelling the world for a (HUMBLE )  living, and i have always been entirely homeless in fact i don't really recognise the word 'home' or place... anyway one thing i know for sure is I am the nearly ultimate outsider looking in from the sidelines  all my life I do pride myself on my objectivity. In respect of various cultures - who are people of any particular place, really, behind the tourist spin? 

And one thing i know about Britain (see last post on transparency) is that in Europe we are almost UNIQUELY cruel in a sadistic way (in respect of our 'systems' be they how the law and other nutjob power crazed institutions act and how it affects the citizen) ; and also there is a denial of this among ordinary people,  almost masochistically.

Also, objectively, we neither fight back, much, nor are ANY of our psychological/therapeutic systems and practices any good at all. They do NOT 'work'  - i have informally but deeply for many years studied the philosophy of such science (and biology/zoology). Yet Britain simply cannot take in - way way higher rates of genuine mental health issues than any other European country,  so as well as being almost equal to horrid bonkers USA in atomisation and the break down of the family - almost entirely caused by rampant materialism, we must be doing 'it'  - the psychological repairs, wrong.

I've recently revved up into writing on, here.

https://www.ralphschism.com/p/mental-elf-roundup.html

In fact the whole damn thing from touchy-feely language, and the new tyranny of 'safe space' to every under 50 year old brainwashed into every other word being 'boundaries'; and then a whole spin operation around older lonely people (no family left due the UK family uniquely disastrous in Europe) brainwashed into feeling they are doing some 'good' volunteering for an hour down the local community centre when what they SHOULD be doing is lobbying politicians for less money being spent on destroying family, if by no other fact than disastrous ignorance and unprofessionalism IN so called professionals,  and rather more on professional staffing who can then run such operations far far more efficiently. Years spent observing such services, when every week you have ten different  so called 'helpers' at so called community services nobody EVER gets any help as the helpers have no idea how TO properly help folk...

Assisting people with difficulties in family or in respect of their interaction with the council or the like is pretty hard work and  those in need of help need above all continuity - in who they may team up with so as to attempt to get their 'justice'.

Fact even the self obsessed  self pitying land grabbing UK church of England  had an in house network of offices staffed by longterm employed  community  facilitators - there to assist in legal battles against a council extorting you for council tax that you were not liable for, twenty years ago - more likely 30 (this related to me from the horses gob a lady bishop i know very very well) ...  but no more, even she on early retirement " Jo why dont you lobby for or at least write articles about  an even more desperate need for just such" in fact spends two years only  texting me every other day her self pitying acedia... 

The 'it' - above,  being the cultural mores throughout all aspects of  how we perform existing as human beings. Though in fact  - though i decry wanky new age 'language'  - most of which is baby words uttered by very very brittle (cored) people - and many are dangerous these days, i use one around children, only. We were supreme ferret champions. I know animals, animals respond to your 'vibration'. As do children. Simple as that.

And if you are at ease with children - almost living in them, as you would your own skin if the British were at ease in their own skins,  too (most Europeans are FAR more so)   that defines how the child will be the REST of their life...

or simply put, neurosis. If you're not properly zenned around kids you're a neurotic and that's definitely passed on down the line...NOT via genes but via learned adopted behaviour ... the vibe in the household generally does contaminate 

And the older i get it astonishes me that so called 'experts' seem utterly unable to even manage a basic obvious psychological matter that is 100% sincere and true and of course tragic too...

in this letter below two lives are destroyed for 16 1/2 years...

But to have allowed also a daily real 'silver lining' or 'evolution via being in the 'desert' for years  - for that destruction to have good eventual side effect / silver lining and not be able to say so for the SAKE OF THE OTHER.... which so few British seem to be able to understand as a truly great freeing evolution...means that in my opinion this land has gone backwards

And what really is their 'end times' - even those who consider themselves solid, evolved, deepened by tough times...

NOT ONCE in 15 years of meandering among many - mostly the middle class pious  and relatively well off - i.e. they do have time to spare for others important even life-and-death needs, have i ever heard one person say (as i would DO for others and still do) " can i maybe figure how to help bridge your lass back in to you...we can at least give it a  try"

 Bit above all the absolute lack of simple philosophyif you tell someone that matters ultimately " well jolly hockey sticks... fifteen years of only bleak wasteland tragedy.....you the ONLY thing that ever has mattered to me ....however it hasn't killed, in fact it's only enhanced me....so tell your mum she's no quarter with me...nor in fact in no way my enemy"

you are simply setting them free.

8 August 13.23

DAD from  private Woody email

To estelle

 it is in attached letter as i dont have battery easier to write by hand

i think it says it the way that can be understood.

click to enlarge

Why 'transparency'?

 In chats with especially the 40 somethings occasionally, they will blurt out the word "transparency";  but that's just a word. What does it REALLY mean in REAL life..? . that does, as one example, potentially affect two or three million people a decade. 

AUDIO  file 003 on this matter.  Not for 'posterity' but because this is how the legal 'system' works.

Last word.  But it will continue unless the younger generations take up the cudgel.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xdbZw6Hg_BY8c1wALUSM2rYogitBYzq7/view?usp=sharing

Bridgeing, or occasional lay legal assistance, in messed up family situations

 But it's rather more the 'bridgeing' - my word, that matters, around and about our closer in communities that i know matters. ANYONE can attempt. Without any formal legal processes - just doing the 'right' thing when we can. 

And  - subcontracting community responsibility to the state, is  a major factor in now UK is at 3 trillion on the credit card.

How ordinary people can use common sense to gently support kids into healthier relations with their significant attachments if it starts to go wonky.

 

Audio file made this morning in google drive filestore.

Will turn it into a few page write up if i ever get a socket.

file 085

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14lV4ZqdXkPhQAoC6uQQ6Klco4q-5_y4h/view?usp=sharing

ooohh... and as always - a hundred or more audios at ralphschism.com substack, over last 3 years, a bit of fun personal life story gets woven in... 

THE END...as per audio its all far too weird nowadays.... i leave my material as maybe guide to others one day if it ever got a bit saner, but that won't happen for some time. to think otherwise really would be bonkers and a waste of more of my life. 

 summary - last page,  was UPDATED there was a  page  of the photographed write up missing 

ALL MATERIAL AND LINKS TO OTHER MATERIAL I create linked on the SUMMARY PAGE 

are .....NOT...OPTIMISED TO READ ON MOBILE PHONE

ONLY LAPTOP

DELIBERATELY...

IF YOU READ ANYTHING BY PHONE  RATHER THAN GPOOD OLD FASHIONED LAPTOP YOU ARE ALREADY BEYOND HOPE

AND IF YOU LET YOUR KIDS DO SO...

SO ARE THEY

Summary

 I am a mad person. I actually believed  'change' - simple societal adjustment to something healthier in the world of kids,  was possible. And stupid me i held on to that far too long.

My two main parallel 'causes' from the year 2000 were  realistic common sense approaches to healthier  psycholgies for kids mainly after family breakdown or when the state becomes involved if there is GENUINELY dangerous dysfunction in families with youngish kids. The 1989 Children's Act required the various (PAID!) services and authorities to ASSIST families facing turbulence. The first time i encountered those services  entirely out of the blue autumn 2002 and with NO good reason ( a non event custody case started and eventually lost  - vexatious litigation, by the other household) i wasn't quite as much shocked by pretty awful false evidence  - perjury, sent to courts as sworn testimony by that household (the case DRIVEN by a weirdly sick man who had walked away from his own kids a few years earlier), more at how totally dystopian and Kafkaesque the whole system was.

And i know i did more than anyone else this century to give the whole system a VERY positive kick up it's back pocket which is what it had become about - using secrecy and awful bad practice to profit from the myseries of families in distress one way or other. Many many substantial pensions will continue to be paid for decades to criminally negligent judges, CAFCASS, social workers, and even the fringe elements who play part even the security man at the court where parents are tortured in secret chambers by the aforementioned.

But i am in most ways the lucky one. Nobody else wins a case as i did by 2005. Never. We  had some fabulous years  before the madman had to attack again. (My daughter from then - 2010 has Stockholm Syndrome easiest way of describing it) 

I do nowadays consider myself having one great compensation. Which is that from around then I daily diarise and make many SERIOUS but engaging recordings. 

I have 100s of hrs on what is in these jpgs, below

 (handwritten as i am always battery limited living only in a  small van, and ALL SWest libraries are so noisy most of the time - with many ill people, its usually impossible to concentrate there  - there is no more humanity left in the UK.

THIS - click to enlarge, was the 'project'  

 I am lucky as i realised a decade ago ONLY writing honestly and openly about the mess the UK became - FAR FAR sicker than the EU ... in an irreverent funny way..is the only hope and i have a decade of recordings about the REAL version of brexit (the pro EU people failed to do any of the necessary work to harvest votes). And its the same with my other main interest the environment. All UK environmentalists squabble (or ego battle subtly) among themselves as its easier than squabbling with the actual polluters.  This is THE one reason the UK environment in the last 27 years has utterly collapsed by every scientific measure. And the rate of devastation has more or less doubled the last decade. Sorry..i have 1000s of hrs of recordings that categorically tell that tale.

But saddest of all really is that as essayed upon here a little over the last few years the 'borderline personality disorder' - i hate labels but that one at least is accurate, among the would-be 'campaigners' of the last decade and going forward is so common that there really is nobody who can now bring in any further legal reform  - it became all a hall of mirrors (or protect that which me and others fought so hard to bring in  - and my transparency laws assisted more WOMEN than men to rightly keep their kids when SS were being evil to them)

I started to realise from around 2010 that women and some men calling me with terrible legal difficulties, even if i believed they didn't deserve state torture via their kids (i always CHECK for drink drugs and properly evidenced serious mental illness)  simply had a range of stories about all their brave valiant 'campaigning' to get their kids back.. that were far more fantasy than fact. Most in fact couldn't even take the simple next legal steps they were kindly advised on over many hours, TO get at least a better quality court (eg up to the High Court - an easy process) to hear the issues... i do think that BPD is a fair label to apply - never maliciously i wanted every single one to do what they had sought me to help them WITH...actually fight, rather than make up their fighting.

So i started from 2020   to focus only one what stories / books do our children's generation now need...as i believe mine is beyond any sane hope 

(3 years before then working on maybe a second brexit ref campaign - nb it was NOT 'binding'!...in Europe it would have had to be 60:40 minimum for any serious constitutional change via referendum,  in my previous very rural region )

BUT i like ONLY groovy life affirming material, to INSPIRE,  as in THE great film Captain Fantastic. Or French film Untouchable..

I have a list of such European books here https://leftovers2022.blogspot.com/

AND more important than anything LOADS - 100s of hrs of film with our zoo at home  - esti me and a few other kids... and our many many travels by camper van all over the wild places especially. Those i must continue loading. They are I know the 'answer' I had NO money. Utterly broke. BUt managed to give a kid the fullest imaginable life. Always. No moaning. Never any self pity.

I have spent the last 5 years attempting to rev up a range of met-in- person  female writers (or wannabe) writing up THEIR bees in their bonnets but in a genuinely inspiring way.  In other words finding TRUE sublime in the great big stuck swampy mess of so much of the last few decades. Quiet a few have said to me over fairly protracted periods of time that they will. I bolster them in any way i can. But they never follow through

I have a load of part begun writing projects myself that i WILL plod on with and get published or made into film at some point

i will list them here later

mainly i jot at ralphschism.com

and there is one tab only that goes to other sites 

https://www.ralphschism.com/p/index-at-last.html

best one is 

https://illicitgirlsridingclub.blogspot.com/

"community" (and the only way i know of to appease those conducting child wars )

 UPDATE  28 July 2026

https://illicitgirlsridingclub.blogspot.com/ IS working... intermittent 'fault...

merely for fun even if i have thousands of mean readers who rarely pay a penny for my daily literary grind,  i maintain an ongoing NEVER IDENTIFIABLE travelogue .. no places ever, nor names unless they steal public money as sadly many so called 'environmental' campaigners who flocked to my PAST region - The Marches, my only interest, did... 

and it is far more dangerous to pinpoint particular practices or pollution sources than one may assume in the REAL environment, so i have years of practice writing about them in a so undercover way its daft... REAL risk to life and limb especially in the region of Titley Herefordshire..

so i maintain a completely incognito,  dreamy road trip to nowhere, a bit Proustian and rather Homeric....  thing at ralph. This was intended as a useful more serious resources site but so many (professional - i.e. publishing/ campaigning / filming) fakes pretending they cared not about me but the dystopia of family and also environmental matters...i gave up... i only jot wistfully and rarely refer anyone here.

There are also photos that go with the audio below which will be woven in here later which is DEADLY serious - ignore my words and your children will statistically die earlier 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

BEST SHORT GUIDE TO BRINGING CHILD WARS TO A SOFT LANDING

(though i have other versions of this over the years)

So, over a decade, ever since the Lowlanders really began to invade my fringelands - it's a free world ish and selling up mummy's Loreal shares, or the house bought on them in Surrey, if i had been one of them I too would have run away from Nigel's  turbulent twenty sixteen towny places...

But they began to arrive in even larger numbers into the rural fringelands, and attempt to grift via so many new 'therapy' and 'counselling'  grifts... 

And the Swest is absolutely crammed full of every ex PR person set up in fringe places and every other PR word is 'community. Rather than the true version which is all big bowl of bloodied cherries.

Bugger me just when i need it my girls riding club the greatest community success in history i randomly started in autumn 2020 and there is a site with all the photos and really smiley stuff - we had best ever winter, for free riding horses with lasses and some mums, in the hills of East Wales 

https://illicitgirlsridingclub.blogspot.com/

it's not working and needs some setting changed,

 do come back... maybe i can fix it later today.

A pure unintended 'community' by a weird miracle i set up to keep some old horses going  - being ridden 3 times a week as they were getting arthritic due being 20 something, which were off to ebay ... 

But in that community (i ran with my farmers wife friend as protection) there were two women despite being very tough horsy women, both who had  really quite bad substance abuse problems for years - one booze, the  other god knows what was in her freezer as well as the 'peed' she would enjoy letting slip - age sixty nine and all her life in that very rural bungalow

Over time it was obvious that the one lost to the grape (the WORST of all substances)  needed some informal guidance as to how to build bridges her near teen daughter and the other household, at war for years... no 'services' opertaing even if they only chuck petrol on the fire..

which is when REAL 'community' work is needed...

for months i attempted to brief up my right hand woman/ mum  as to how standard turbulence within once calm families is fixed...

Everyone wishes to complicate it or just not listen.

Here is the BIBLE part 1 and 2  on at least attempting to bring some calm to the (child wars) situation and theyre all the same  and in my opinion ONLY having a few inner circle local people involved, also..is the one solution that works a little better than parents slagging it out via serrated edged texts alone in their bedrooms all day and night....  

audios 60 and 61 made 26 July afternoon, after a good nap in the bracken in the hills. 

I like to ramble... for fun... part 1 begins rambling along on seemingly unconnected subjects merely to entertain...

but then gets to the meat of it

(which incidentally also if possible must have some mirth in it... laughing at ourselves, the pickles we get into)

click to google drive folder where they live for now

folder called COMMUNITY SOLUTIONS TO WARRING PARENTS

but also included are the basic RULES of how to save your kids from terrible angst as the parents are warring

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CQN8kTbIIIyx2dJVNr6Jg-wepgi1Z16J?usp=sharing

and proof of zen good vibes during recording my audios above,  meeting the toughnut nags never met before

 

It's so so 'simple' and such a world record failure

 (hearing from a rare one i could trust a few days ago, that in mediation the parents  weren't shown a PARENTING AGREEMENT, before the bloodletting,   spitting, hissing evil looks  - as if a whole swarm of flies were buzzin around their eyes, began...in 'mediation'  and told " ok hiss spit thats what you are paying me to sit and listen to...  but even if you have three years of top judges telling tales ... s/he will still say 'well done' if you draw up one of these .... everyone else has to eventually  - there's a box in the c100 court application form, asking you if you have one YET!!! and if not bloody well get one.... and there is a hard way and an easy way..." )

Justice Hedley third most senior judge in the whole bowl of cherries said this was a TEMPLATE for everyone else..

This page 

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/official-judgements-and-statements.html

scroll down and start at 

and then down into schedule 2 *

which was the first  ever 'parenting agreement' 

'Esti's Bill of Rights...' as they described  it  to her with true admiration in her solo interview dad wasn't even allowed in the booth to coerce her into saying 'dad did it' , in her radio 1 interview a year later. 

Dad may have added " ferk me ...you would have thought with decades of divorces in and out of the courts SOMEONE  by the early 2000s would have thought of a little written peace plan before i came along knowing i was entering the maddest load of weirdos ever and their so called 'justice' system which merely profited from the fact that nobody had dreamed up a written little UNIVERSAL   'cheat sheet' so they didnt have to go through years of lawyers and pain...I'm pretty thick and a bit of a yokel but even i knew that  just jotting down the ideal end game often works.... even the Yanks not known for their peaceful adventures figured the way to appease 'em back home is a nice little thing that does often work, their constitution...but no not the British.. theyve always got to do it their own way they always know best that everyone has some individual need and pain....  " etc

So i am world record holder in a completely failed  endeavour ....  as still even now they aren't told from day 1 by yet another con artist 'mediator' " heres a little useful 'resource' for you... kerching thats 50 quid, at 100 an hr...  if you still need me to be the spittle referee after reading that piece of paper... ok but thats  500 quid an hour... your mother in law [either sex's]  was meant to be the one who whacked back into shape with her handbag, when you needed to pull yer socks up.. but of course we've made that illegal now, too... "

* i have a range of them then further developed over a decade slightly better wording that all courts accept as brilliant  .. eventually.....when the judge has gotten his  or her pension pot out of you....  it not being in their interest to put themselves out of a job, either. And TELL you on day one.... "you'll end up with one of these eventually... theres a hard way..or an easy one.."

They can be emailed as templates though my email a bit wonky too

07958 five 26 381

 

My life story, cont

Now, as per  the second audio down on this page

The end says i have one UNIVERSAL standard responsibility... to leave something to show i no nutjob and as for 20 years i have done unpaid serious family or other citizen-rescue law in UK  - all people i have nothing in common with as i didnt need rescuing 35 years ago when i 

 give up booze...only 150 units at most in 30 years.. 38 years ago all illicits...  

gave up ( an unintentionally 'glamorous'  even if it never was  - lots of cleaning up popstar vomit or making breakfast for them at 5am nobody else around ... and cleaning their bogs abord a little ten seater... but the true glamour and fabulousness in it was by age 18 sat in bignobs aircraft i knew they all without exception had truly awful lives so tense so egomaniac sad... never ever have i met a celeb or rich banker and i may have had to spend days with them as their taxi..very close in..they would tell their deepest secrets to their cheauffeur sat next o them about to go through a certain-death thunderstorm over the alps.. not one even knew what 'peace' or real mirth meant...)  gave up what to everyone else was a great job 27 years ago as dad needs to always be around for kid AND protect himself ..ie not run around on stupid dangerous motorbikes (ive never been stupid enough to) or flying dangerous puddle jumpers through thundertorms at 5am nobody to hear you scream as you plumet especially if over N italy the worst inhuman airt traffic control in the whole world...  never did their job  of working with the pilot to avoid dangers ...too busy on the phone to mamma telling her how they wanted their bimbo dressed for dinner when they got back...a bit like my bro in law when it came to "its MY  maaaayhhhyyyy wedding.." i still remember the exact look on his dinosaur face...

anyway nothing to do with me i already knew kids need parents around always...

once becoming adult my own whole life about creating an only healthy wholesome environment with plenty of Other Animals away from all of those junkies users and Conran shop addicts...

people only of no value who never talk about the value of anything, merely the price of what their lovely sweet competitor girl shelled  out for the antique handbag in Portobello..

My own life only kids from 1992 .. only, forever no matter what..

saved my life..

and also a bloke is a FAR better person - more decent moral and all that if he does manage to become the  committed dad...

But theres always a price for real things  - i never realised until i left the past region 3 years ago just how deep it all goes even then 13 years on from the worst wound ever...  

 every time i went up to Herrock hill (see ralph)  30 km nearly from the Black Mountains i could see afar the hillside high up i last lived with lass so perfectly for 7 years...

and then evil Pen Y Fan in the distance mission control for the Stockholm Syndromists and all their nasty mates..

and maybe my lass may still be there .. being (to Quote the head of CAFCASS  Anthony Douglas who knew us quite well - well his so warm smile to esti in 2006 at the conference...on her law...with even NAzi thingumy bob Harmon there - the only one who snubbed my lass asking for a moment qwith her one to one her not busy... to allow a child have a great example of a woman in power... bitch not a word i use often but talk about the definition of one... , in 2013 ' his times piece 'emotionally abusing' a child by tearing up High Court orders... so her grandmother complicit too in that clearcut ) emotionally abused even by her grandmother complicit..

lovely country... great stuff for an opera one day far better than Mummy boy italian nonsense..

anyway, leaving old horizons ferk i never realised what its like not to have thirteen years of often a few times a week the most painful imaginable aides memoirs on my horizon even after moving 20km away...

nope.... you gotta be in a no memories place so as to partly recover even if unlike every single Brit one ever ever hears i never moaned to anyone...

But you want to spit at the BBC with their recent radio 4 vile nonsense of 'child free by choice'  - i bet they even have a hashtag ..  because apart from other things like civilisation itself, and also how men can be made safer  so all of us are safer on average....every childless... errata lets forget about my factual assessment of 20 years chronicling...

i have several long long interactions over months with several obviously central community orientated women mums who quietly to my chronicling devices do say what i would never dare.."  uhh ohhh....another emotional vandal with no kids.....the childless ones especially when they get to fifty plus with no purpose any more they assuming theyre no longer desirable [in and of itself the very opposite of truth as the only sexbombs are the 53+ ones who still have that fighting glint in their eye..it tends to straighten their back and make em almost eternally youthful... shame Woman's Hour never told them that either...where was i ] ....god its always them causing utter vandalising mayhem...  " several sane women have said to me on the last phase of chronicling...

...anyway to be cont but far too long of such even occasional pretty little vandals who cant even listen to such simple things as'' landlords [the BIGGIE as insecure accomodation makes you so nutcase you may bash some passing innocent bloke lose your kids to SS and end up in.. , courts, coppers, social workers even employers and certainly fellow green campaigners... do NOT pick on you if you are in a couple as i have noticed almost always happens ... and i am good at noticing... couples are treated FAR more reverentially by the aforementioned  who fear that at least one of them may be able to counterfight back... if they pick one one half of a whole...

 which history proves to be the case never mind most of tax and economic lore favours the doubled up...ask even an inhuman  insurance quoting  algorithm 

and this became almost impossible as every fake flowergirl bought up the country cottages whist in their rare stable phase, even married or a deux,   or even businesses ... got very bored got into trouble and ran off back to Hemel Hempstead or Primrose Hill...leaving him behind crying into his beer and then becoming one of the 4:1 left behind..

the tourist guides never mention that...

to be cont

Best vehicle info you will EVER find (not on oggle either)

 in here is part 1 of why i need a grand by monday or its crusher time....

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/2026/07/come-and-get-your-free-selkie.html

(ohh and as every single conartist who left the towns and cities discovered fraudulent crowdfunding especially if they can put pictures of their kids on front page of their 'offer', so  forget that...)

but here is the REAL reason

sent to Agent Z today (and i understate so as not to be thought insane as for 6 years i have worked unpaid on at least 15 VERY complex rescue missions those damaging kids due being alcy etc etc etc...(2020-21 in The Marches NO services at all available and ALL self appointed good burghers of Presteigne wouldnt help all they could do was bitch.... never assist  5 or 6 fairly ok women we had known for years .. who were killing themselves due neurotic reaction turning to serious booze who could easily have been assisted i spent 347.5 hrs on 3 of them....  then still stupid me 20+hrs a week attempting to nudger women into regional eco projects FOR their esteem  - me i hate Dooneshire its even faker than Presteigne or even Hay and that takes some doing.... at least 20 hrs a week on average often 30 on ..  bolstering others into THEIR causes ... and every single one turns out to be partly as below  )

and incidentally your dad sometimes does  - actually quite often,  for the last 7 years especially, attempts at linking one woman i have gotten to know over a period of time with HER eco issue she wishes to highlight in public  with money or expertise, and also i do some child cases...

i mention this as now 75% of the time one discovers after some months 'borderline personality disorder' what it means is someone will say 100 times to my face they are a true campaigner for justice - that they have had endless meetings with mps or other power saving their community!...  that their kid has been taken by ss wrongly (which is true i usually see if i see their papers - the injustices are terrible and obvious) ...  however when presented with a  simple few steps to get the matter rightly back on track in a court   - how to appeal NAzi court orders... - and they have just spent weeks barefaced telling me they are expert and real Boudica... 

they never take the steps needed ..

it is performing only a PERSONA to those they meet - it is their 'identity' to all and sundry,  that warrior expert against bad state actors...  but they are unable to take the RATIONAL steps to deal with a truly important issue...obviously they are told they will be supported as mackenzie friend at court....it is so sad and wastes literally hundreds of hours of my life every year 

its a very good definition of BPD and i see it in SO many others too now.. including the women who i support as potential eco warriors 

I do NOT use labels especially the 'narcissism' everyone else uses about everyone else, but its even worse really than the default 'people pleasing'  that is ALWAYS now in all eco work 

BPD  - don't look it up the official 'definitions' are simply absurd  - anyone could be guilty...

even if at least 50% are guilty of the above, sad reality of modern UK

real reason # 3... 

to be cont 

real reason #4

 if i avoid the crush i will advertise here the best MOT garage (he lives also in a  van due gentrification by the whicker basket brigade)  in the whole world... 

Why all eco fails (The ONLY trusted ecoscientist and many generation fruit grower says, today, to me in person, bees will be down another 50% after this year)

due xenobiotic molecules all around 

And the lack of flowers as the councils still must weed...even devon in places to look like Surrey as was the case over all of Horrorfordshire for many years DESPITE it being a George Monbiot holiday destination for many years .... you should see the way the birds would flock to him when in residence in the HAy pubs... the only real reason he would go...

when bees need a food supply about every 50m or they die of hunger in the warmth... 

This goes with this explanation of...why even in the river wye autumn 2025  when water testing was done properly (due yours truly nudgging folk autumn 2022 to copy Lucy and her designated Bathing Area solution ....even if the utter egomaniac wankers couldnt listen it needed to be DOWNstream of HAy-on-Wye  everyone swims at The Warren regasrdless....and downstream of there it would have collected even more toxins...)

why in a large river which meanders through the CATCHMENT of all the small hamlets around and about many of which do NOT have municipal sewererage so its about private systems .... 

even diabetic medicine traces were found along with other drug paraphernalia

its the DOMESTIC private systems JUST as much 

 audios on that NOBODY will ever talk about as it will affect their Thatcherite businesses.. of I am my cottage

And Andy unThatching will never get to why the rivers are REALLY ... finito

not the only immediate answer, STOP... using almost any chemical in THE environment,  which is land above around 150m which is less arable and became South Easterner occupied zones...

as itzy bits always end up where nobody intends but it always works out just so... 

https://www.ralphschism.com/2026/07/so-uplands.html

(and as we all knew years ago George's second home in Machynllell wasnt a second home rented out to local people for the going rate as his 'investment' , it was a  known as,  by him,  his private little....  '"community".. blessimmmmmmm . )

But the only guide we ever needed was

 

and updated a tad by

Ahahhh but there is a poignant reality check upon 'real' Britain in just one story. Below. A truly sad one. 

All my adult life from watching the Three Colours films then even Killing Fields (best ever film on spirited resistence)  via fluffy and most intellectual ones ones such as Ring of Bright Water (free on Youtube superb rewatche dit just the other day...sadly i never met a real life Virginnia my own perfect babe ) or La Grande Belazza simply stunning on the hypocricy of the modern times,  yes... as i dont like blood and gore or any horror films, and knew to draw the line about ten minutes into The Shining as a teen, nope... vile over the line into awful gratuitous violence  Killing Fields is allowed as its got a superb moral tale in it... that changed my life "god i could never ever ever be that beautiful amazin  ultimately brave Dith Pran" my own immediate reaction  - i felt small walking out of the Notty Ill Corronet that eve.

To reform any important matter such as approaches to child healthy psychology (via the first ever post divorce peace plan as in https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/official-judgements-and- statements.html  which is what i am 'proud' of as the BATTLE with ridiculous snotty officialdom just to have 'Esti's bill of rights' as it was called in media,  written up and published in that judgement as EXAMPLE TO OTHERS so said the High Court Judge.... as it would HELP them not be in perpetual war,  they would argue forever (that day in the High Court)  whether or not i could use the word 'rights' or not in schedule 2 ... " the child has the RIGHT to...." was at the front of each bullet point but they had to check back to the Queen and Cia and just about every child-hating creep that is the 'establishment' in uk.... I do not jest.  

Anyway to achieve anything such as UNIVERSAL practices in family law that are for universal better psychologies for children if the state ever has them on their radar, is such a massive effort (and its gone backwards since 2013ish), or to protect the environment in THE 'environment' which is rural regions with low population densities such as the Marches where i was based for 30 years, requires ALLIES. Committed people on the same page who's values you understand and you trust will remain consistent (most reform of anything even hamsters rights to have their wheels health and safety checked once a year,  takes at least 5 years )

I had a My Family And Other Animals childhood except up above 300m  - the hills.... Except without 'my' family as they were all lost to the sickness of acedia, alcohol codependency and shopping elsewhere...

I am lucky i stuck only to the animals, divorcing the family. Very young.  But i had one or two ok schoolfriends who also had that within - nature and the wilds, and a real approach to life.... it must be kept decent and simple. No need ever for hysteria or being ranty or stirring up say for example racist tendencies..

Just one such schoolfriend in fact the one i remained closest to over the years came to visit me 2018 and he pretended he was so ultra green STILL, on behalf of his nearly grown kids. Even if he was a Jumbo Jet captain for the previous 30 years he still seemed... ok... 

I told him " if you love those kids of yours and  want them to understand OUR childhood [ his dad was a great freespirited eco lover of the hills like me]  then make them watch Captain Fantastic, i kicked myself as i was always a bit arty elite intellectual and scrolling down the lists of maybe good films in Guardian or Time Out film lists for some years i said to myself that looks twee crap... skip that one! Until one day i just was bored and couldnt find anything else to watch.... Pete its just perfect!"

Assuming he would be a bit prejudiced against the father figure in that film i expected him to have forgotten  it as rantings of a nutter (me) even worse that his PEOPLE PLEASING  sickness of " hey i will ponder a way of bridging for you both back in to  ... our famous Esti and give you a call..maybe invite her to meet my daughter down at ours... get her to mine and try help sort her head out" which of course never happened due the national sickness (i did a pictorial version of it today for someone,  i am rather proud of): ... inability to ever say what you mean and mean what you say (around children is literally lethal...THE biggest cause of mental illness..in them)   

Anyway to my amazement Pete watched it and reported back on the phone..." Simes [ should be named and shamed just for that i hate my name and hate Simes even more..] ... that movie is so brilliant on kids and society and how we are ruining it for them but SO genius funny too.... i am going to make my whole family watch it every six months...."

Ok well at least i did some good in the world... or rather, did, and the national sickness (that sadly is a form of BPD) .. even got to Pete... when a year later he is getting all Farage-Carswell..and even a bit Widecombe on even me....  sending pro UKIP stuff in daily.... and cant even have the conversation " pete we had so many good people we knew who were immos... why this turn in you"? 

which is really bad BPD cos  as he knew my lass only exists cos of liberal immigration that the fine EU allowed... and to attempt to get all bigot about that with me was an insanity in and of itself..

In other words even with ones cast iron 40+ year ally... (asking him to get involved in nature protection with a soon to have nice fat pension) ... there is no more any reliability ever in the UK as to what someones values may indeed remain...

(Ralphscism mainly has unique intellectual reasoning as to why this is a genuine reason that serious psychosis has increased... that mental elf post recently and others back the last few years even if i do try and be a bit Captain Fantasticy as earnestness and piety never ever works - no green can ever understand this which in and of itself is another illness...

. the bit where they lovingly flush mum down the bog.... a BIT of comedy  i do believe does 'work'.

 ALL THIS MATERIAL VERY ROUGH FIRST DRAFT AS FOR 5 YEARS NO ELECTRICITY LIVING VAN AND REALITY OF SW  NO ONE EVER ASKS YOU IN FOR A CUPPA... or just use of their elec for a while

and the libraries are SO rudely noisy always (BPD) its impossible to work there..... 

So, site 'guide' will take forever

especially as so much will likely end up as emails sent out over the years to even interested parties on aspects of the 'story' almost always ignored so childish even the grown ups they cant manage any more, " het thanks for taking the time to write to me properly..i havent the time to ponder your thoughts at the moment so i shall not be engaging jolly good luck" as i would write to even my ...well i havent got any 'enemies' only a load of those who USED a child for their dastardly very very weird behaviours that are a great definition of borderline personality disorder thats kind of uncurable so...

 

i just wish i knew an opera writer as 20o years of material ten times better than that fake Shakespeare who likely used a lot of his Mrs take on it all but never overtly credited her (some scholars do say so...)

anyway i shall likely over time just copy and paste a load of emails sent all too inhuman ever to even respond...

But i wouldnt have my life any other way i know for my age my health is superb and mind even better

Anyway its all abit here and a bit there 

https://www.ralphschism.com/2026/07/the-ricochet.html

until i really can get the seperation sorted RAlph is the enjoyable even poetic riffy version

this the sane facts based one and anyone ever tries to sue me i am VERY very good and know exactly where the line is....

Exactly....  and what evil is,  A Mr Sanna Fuck... displaying his trophy at his shabby little empire 

Those sorts of using a child for your own smug sense of something that is nothing, harms people long run. Not me... i was bulletproof from the day my kid arrived on this planet as i KNEW how she would be loved, fully and always no matter what.

Unlike the creep too much a child even to find a way of having his own...

They all must steal....

I know the definition of Parental Alienation, it is any action to NOT bolster the image of the parent (as i speechify to peeps at time even Harold Shipman's Missus  notionally making a point ) if estrange lost or even in a slammer...

Cunt Italians (as my one best pal with an Italian baby testifies) well most of them especially in The South..

only are concerned with their own tight little arsehole...

But he ...oops errata sorry just like Raynor Wynn was aided and assisted in her enmbezzlin crookery by Mister Mathew Walker , equally, so was his English wife even more an evil accomplice she of course hides behind her label.......will be in chapter towards the end  ...even if they arent even worth an epilogue 

Now... i can write...

 remarkably, in fact almost miraculously.

I had a rather fun Munchian splurge for 7 years writing most days from dawn from 2010 (i must out liesdamage.com back up its still there..) , that gradually was no existential angst, and certainly no need to express or purge myself of any mucky stuff so as to... the phrase escapes me and every time i turn on the laptop with only half an hour of battery flip if something isnt there i have to move on but stuff comes from nowhere too... it wasnt a case of better out than in, which is a truth factually universal...all of it... it was more a case of previously to the worst of all things happening...one tried to hard to seem something upright safe and not too off the wall..

nothing to lose, one could... just let go because one can...

And i was even told by middle aged  mother, and uni prof of culture then, 2010 who i slightly knew in person  " i read what you are riffing most mornings and i 'get' it there's a kind of REAL 'poetical' energy there between the words... yea i see...you really are on top of the wave somehow powering through even laughing at the lame ducks stuck in the smelly waters all around but nicely..."

Anyway it NEVER EVER is good for  you, even if it took me a long time before i admitted to myself  " this new creative artistry [with words] amazingly is here for good... to be complimented. I spent several years almost lamenting professor Agnieska's  compliment..its SO SO much better for you for everyone to just ... neither care and only think you are a bit lost at sea...  

there - being only thought of as pathetic, lost, and even contemptuously is where true energy comes..

still i know that.

Energy (dud word all the fake 'aware' crowd stole 2 decades ago.. so i only use it when there dont seem to be others, even if LIFEFORCE is better)  is only chipped away at if one thinks that one must please ones fan.... even if there is only one. And of course the key is - and in my case every word i utter is based on years or even decades of mergolating upon the issues and the realities,  usually on 50km walking alone in the hills per week for 16 years....  that we know our own ideas and assessments or insights to get wanky 'aware'  - another word they stole... are pukka. Or as pukka as can be. AND.. also  inclusibve of the actual reality of others - behind their masks - i have peered at all my adult life pondering what indeed may be there...especially of my least favourite species the English (ok first equal in Europe with the other lot whom richer English like to be SEEN to be allied with... even if my heroine - a real one said to me 4 years ago..." i wouldnt bother...[ i had never taken tiime to meander even Florence much in my previous life os free travel and paid to await wankers at showoff special golf holidays or even awaiting hearts to be cut out so as to rush them to England to transplant some heartless Italian one into a heartless English... ] ... the Italians [she had lived among but IN THE MOUNTAINS.... bought up as 100% Heidi... plus half the time in scuzzy lower middle class London] ... as i know art having just finished my arts degree aged 40... just copied the ancient Greeks you didnt miss much...."

Energy or focus i guess comes from generally being ignored as haing nothing ever about you never mind much to say...

And those very long periods  - years especially from 2015ish ...  are the most fertile  - you just know you are kindof right and that if nobody else gets you its their journey off to hell in a handbag...

Anyway the last 10 years i have also been told various times  person to person long letters or messages and nobody false flatters me ever...

" god you can write with such punchy elegant soulfulness and turn it on a  dime  into something that would knock fat Alexei off his latest waggle dance..."

i think this is one of his recent shorts i never watch shorts but Alexei... 

well...is a true genius but of course fake  even if one of my few valued modern communicatrixes, in that he has in the past done extremely intelligent discussion interviews about the real history of liberalism and modernism (the real kind meaning how liberal egalitarian society evolved very well through 70s and 80s and then the Eton class said " thats enough... we let them have some post war catch up fun for a few decades.. treat uni as a true learning just piss away their grants at the bar discussing actual philosophy and thus actually learn.... bring the  concentration camps back now..." via 'neoliberalism PFI etc etc and to think that Andy Pandy will UNThatch their house when ALL the English care about is the price of their house.... is more absurdist than splendid Alexei ..

BUt of course he never properly attempted to take part

Even the dilettante Italians managed to spawn the superb Beppe Grillo who turned his fine comedy into real votes! and became de facto Italian PM even if he couldnt actually sit in the chair due to a rather mixed up earlier little matter of  'manslaughter'... nevertheless he was the ONLY force for change that did the few sane Italians left say " it did more good than bad...   he made us think more laterally about our society and politics when nobody else had managed that for decades.."

Alexei just uses you for cheap clicks...

Never ever ever trust a scouser... ever.

45 years ago i knew that.... never. Not one...ever... unless they entirely 100% renounce the place when young  just users and thieves... and never go back...

 

  And even could in fact write a real book based on fact (in my sick brother's sick little bedroom)  about how their most famous 'son' just used his own for fake self pity and  monetised his fake love when he never even bothered to get him over in one of the hundreds of private learjets he could have afforded to buy...

Which has nothing to do with me, as as a youngster age 10 with an old perfect so loving and gentle giant yeoman Ralph Ellis  - my 100% caring mentoring father as him and i toiled on the land building fences and recreating old disused fabulous veg gardens - and digging that much in 18" the hardest job of em all..over several acres all by hand... i orphaned myself forever from their whole vile house of bent cards...

anyway.. " you can write..." but living on the edge day in and out often takes away from the poise and grace needed so as to just laugh at them all - never take one eveil act to heart ever...

Which will only come out in somewhat trippyish sort of Thomas Bernhard or Herb BAtesian kind of wistful stuff..

I can do... it has to 'come' and does sometimes when aside unconcerned and walking or sometimes alone at dawn...

but then i have so much of that to jot it down has become a pain in tehn arse and i need to get out whats already jotted for 16 years...

a lot of it even in 'private' letters they thought were me to them...

nope wrong

In fact me to YOU...my readers here there everywhere 
Though of course often one may wish to anonymise or just change it a bit so as to not have the pain in the arse of some silly wanker thinking its about him or her... and attempting to deny exactly which fabulously interesting hidden wanker they were... 

Or an exact  copy of every word...

like her  - recent... at least she understands for her little un who only exists cos of me we must NEVER EVER hold on to past little mistakes...

A couple of really serious lifelong lessons she was told to pull her socks up from...

And did take it in

" for the sake of your blob yet to be... you have to know that you should not have people pleased... on that one promised meet with my lass [may 2025] ...

The perfect woman who even before she has her so long wanted little ball of fun popping out, knows that when it comes to kids of any age its ONLY about what happens today or tomorrow...

And i arent likely to even ever get to tickle the toes of the nipper pretty much is there because of me...

As the mum, English born, though a Heidi passport too... knows as she is a full intellectual " no way.. i shant be letting her out in that jungle..."

Though we disagree on some things... " your Paulo of La Grande Belazza genius almost perfect absurdist philosophy.... even if always just women being poked and blokes pokin even in philosophical chat.... please send me full critique of his latest .... his first where he attempted to sum up Italian female roles...

"i  dunno i didnt really like it but i think just like Barbie  he TRIED..he tried to say 'something' even if in both instances a bit of a miscarriage ohh yes youve forgotten about THEM now havent you even you got a bit stuck even if for only 5 mins in the pity me and the one down the bog... ! if you were in England you would still be doing Womans Hour victim support group chats about a dead bit of ectoplasm for the rest of your life.... i believe you she sleeps like a ...baby... is meant to as i know you ALONE have no inner angsty energy...they feed off that too..."   

" no sorry he shows just how vile all bourgeois Italian families and women are in the south especially i think he says nothing much.... its all just revolting and meaningless .... "

" hmm i beg to differ even if i cant quite say why .... but i know i wont have to beg to remain best buddies even if we have a smallest difference of opinion...good all the last english genes have left you, i hope she didnt catch any on the way out, into here...."

But best of all, three years... "yasmin tart... look i know you have got your shiny new arts degree... and could rip off the tourists for three grand for really not very interesting decadent artworks... but i know you can WRITE...and also that pictorial art is limited in saying what youTOO want to say about the world she has inherited...all of it...[ we are exactly in sync, shame about her tunnelling hobbit her dad] .. i think only writing and stories can do it even if youre as good as the ferkin Mona Lisa.... at self portrait... write.. chuck away your brushes...w.rite..and also WHEN you have podded it changes...you realise you MUST take it seriously as its for her.... no longer for you... if you actually love it,  and only do BEST BANG FOR Buck as its urgent.... what will make the most difference as urgently as possible.."

and a week ago,  funny how dad is always right even regarding the most stubborn of all  - in a good way, most healthily esteemed woman, who has lived a life...  

" ive realised...yes... pictorial art is so limited and just cant do what we need done...and have started just  writing again... "

And i am so poor from 22 years  attempting to write something that may just  make one jot of difference...

i can't even afford to send it a birthday card...

But i wouldnt have it any other way... or ... that WAS the case...

when one knows exactly no conceivable way one could be diverted how one wishes and needs to spend every second of life left... due even a few terribly diverting fakes even this year and my radar is utterly extra sensory perception attuned to all of them.... 

i shall not even be able to afford a grand to get my snail shell on the road another year...

But their dull little stories even if UNIVERSAL stories of your only sick society, , will be so far along the conveyor belt of stories so many to trot out... ..maybe i wont even get to them....

who knows 

Not for me... for the next lot in the queue for the meatgrinder, or even once shat out mangled the other end, who i hope SHE can whip into shape....

FIRST DRAFT merely leaving this here for her ... 

add in bits i forgot something all always on the hoof

always act like its your last day on the earth (it could be after what is being published here and ralphschism now... ) and she is worth already a few hours of my time... ehh about eight just to make and load this... at it all day today from 5am

Come and get your free selkie therapy/mindfulness/mermaid lessons.. optional donation (suggested £9.99, which means even more or else, and we'll be watching)

DRAFT to be much improved 

audio file called brief roundup 18 july 2026 (just in passing - what i do much of the time)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/113uCd0BNcF_BP7jnnHy3k5mUqj5DyP9r/view?usp=drive_link

and another called WHY I NEED A NEW OLD VAN (i play with words its THE way to survive all your cant and vanity..)

cos if i dont get some money in in a few days i am at last utterly finished, even if ive only just started writing the really fun part of the reflections...chronicles.. 

or in even her language "a call out to the universe.." i quite expect will say "sucker.... stay in your black hole and have your home crushed  if the cops  stop you anytime one your MOT is over soon, creep"

audio made yestereve - one week to crushing time 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JA6q8M9qaO755YgoUVkG-w_FXVu8845p/view?usp=sharing

Ive been SO busy dealing with the flack from its time to say the say even if already said on a few 

names

Maureen Clayton

Ashlea Sanna and the awful Mauro Sanna 

ALL of them all their lives so obsessed with The Conran shop to even care that their next generation may be assisted to see her dad,  or far far worse... true lost materialistic crap, who couldnt deal with someone bring a child up not like them..

And then A RAT    JC a non-man a rat whom in 2010 passed on to a rather lost dadless woman in atizz as she couldnt keep her word so ran away...  information about a brother who is the only person that that whole awful suck-up-to-celebs and not even talented ones, family,  stating he was on psycho medication in his youth... when i have never even taken an asprin... and was the only sane one in the universe being when Prozac was suggested in one of only two short visits to a head doc age 25ish i chucked em down the bog thus being of no values re the poor microbes in the London drains... and thought immediately these are no good.. that way madness lies

and fied it via self administered far better method ,forever, a year later

And then the recent terrible lost time wasters

NW

and even so sadly LT

And some gibbers too 

Yes and also 'challenge those you love or at least value greatly to be the best version of themselves

as 

https://hannahspier.substack.com/p/towards-a-new-treatment-model-for

Meghan Daum

Jenny E holland 

and a few others the last year - all  propper writers and journalists of the used-to-be-LIBERAL version. whom  have REALLY been pointing a  very very sharply piercing flashlight at the mental vandalism the 'fairer' sex are reeking on the fookin universe.. the last year or so 

in rather labelly ways...

I do the MUCH nicer philosophical version which started here some years ago

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/woman.html

and have much already written about how on earth my daughters cohort may sort out the dire state of play between the sexes.. but no time to edit and work on yet

which destroyed environmentalism

and merely keeps cops and judges in jobs and pensions..

they aint gonna make you grow up via better philosophical takes on it all

as they profit from your Apocalyptic mess 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

BANK 

always use direct pay,  as they dont scam you for at least a few percent as buyme a coffee does or paypal and other payment methods do

accounts listed here:

https://www.ralphschism.com/p/funding.html

 This website (not really a blog just 5ish years of reflections and attempts to record reality of uk family (and environmental) disaster is having a few new poignant things added today tomorrow latest...ALL the way, now) 

there is a new page in it but only really of interest to anyone who knows real loss... and that doesnt include siblings... nor parents who die roughly at their allotted time 

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/estrangement.html

Now... to get a bit Ralphschismic....

 which really is only the first Joycean  meander through all sorts of places from where i prefer - years stuck nowhere, nobody..

To Zagreb to Sligo and so many little off the beaten tracks in between....

Always from an early adulthood somewhat cautious to say the least about the English... . slash Brits... especially 'abroad'... (always going to the opposite side of a cafe even in Dieppe especially in anywhere further away, to where an English accent may be heard)

Nevertheless ..one needs to know a bit of ones so called 'heritage'  - and having already been 'radicalised' by Pilger and Tariq Ali, into the truth of this dodgy peeps... and realising its everyone else who is radically out of kilter, with humanity...and i merely listened to good oldschool decency in Lorna Doone to Reggie Perrin and remained 'normal'... humanist... or just knew where THE LINE was....

One day Irish chappie come sin to my bookshop in 97 ish and asks for this book. Which really did change my life, too...

But here's the thing.... 

and only a week ago did McEvoy rightly get HIS payout....

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgmdkk8r472o

essentially all down to Seans sterling work...  for which he paid the greatest of prices over 20 or so years...

Not in sterling either. 

But here's the thing, even if that in the audio below I know is the ultimate price - never ending at least Andy Malkinson got out after 17 years...

There's me  twenty years ago I am even on a webpage with true hero Sean..

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/price-qc.html

in the big year https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/media-on-cases.html which was ONLY a test case on behalf of the REST - i was perfectly all right i had wone the unwinnable case that mattered two years previously

.not many of us there on British 'free speech' top QC pricey   rather pricey too as he was the god of it (Lord Justice Wall demanded i was legally aided  so it could be argued in their inhuman legalese but i had already alone put in written treatise that... was the real case.... 

even if Price was as useless as his so called second) 

(this no case about 'children' it was about state 'cover up' to use pejorative silly language - merely fat old creeps always want everyone to shut up about them... as The British have been world champs in,  for 200 or more years - spin...PR... )

Which is of only passing pleasure...

Even if i lived somewhere thee thickest theme park in the world HAy-on-Wye or far enough away to be nearby just to use the local spin doctors, COOP.... where nobody  there began to understand ANY form of 'politics' or power already by then lost to ridiculous little man Pratchett and his fantasy worlds... (i simply never met anyone for years who had read one grown up good book).

But there you have out of the blue 

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/media-on-defense-of-clayton-freedom-of.html

nothing to do with ME... late 07 Straw stands up in parliament deliberately just before crimbo and announces his 'reforms'  to court transparency (DIPLOCK COURTS) that have fully taken into account two or maybe three public consultations over  4 or 5 years.... and tucks in at the very end "these reforms i am presenting to The House will have the effect of reversing Clayton v Clayton.." which is crystal clear you are either TRANSPARENT or NOT... (as Louise Tickle then found the last 7 or 8 years. her 'heroic' PAnorama on the evil childsnatching British State etc.... . there is no half a pregnancy...)

Anyway as all my emails from 29 December 2007 the day after Esti went to the other household for her week there show... " ehh...CAmilla [Cavendish] have you noticed what JAck straw is up to..." 

In short the thickest journalist in history her 4th or 5th to me says something like " simon i have no idea what you are on about..."

She probably said the same to Frances Gibb her boss when she said to her " simon emailed me yesterday saying get that mad witch off the issue or i will bring in a hundred  purple condom  throwers into our bosses office unless you are sacked...." ( a spindoctored lie cos they were all merely fat thuggish voluble wankers and wouldnt know what a condom was for..or what the word volluble meant, and certainly werent any mates of mine) 

And my hero FG wrote  - as we had fairly frequently for a year or four in our epistles back n forth  ....  " simon i do not respond well to blackmail..."

 the evening before..... she wrote exactly what i had put in my email to her that day telling her what the story was,..

That caused her to write that the Minister of Justice is "HOODWINKING"  Par;liament as youre not allowed to use the words pants on fire..

The only reason Straw did his youturn on telly a monthish later

as you can see on that page (here)...

Now..  the first equal greatest fake of all time as per last post... you would have thought just MAYBE she could add  two and two...

Just MAYbe... if the Minister of it was embarassed in public... by The Times no less...

Maybe that Minister may have waited  7 or 98 months...and taken revenge on ...me

And nobody is ever going to bother investigating the Whitehall files for a little memo " call Terry.. and Maureen..." 

But that's not the point, especially of my fabulous memoirs i need to write...

Early 90s, even as an ONLY worldly traveller...  ULTRA  sceptical verging on 100% prejudiced against the Brits...   there i was that day after a wonderful weekend taking my 'Sligo contingent' for a homecoming 3 day and night pub crawl  which was frightening they were so all the way in it...and lovely in one respect (me not liking boozing other than a poncy sip of craft beer every other year) ...

But they were so so decent....  always cared about me and made sure i had a nice companion to look after me just go for a cuppa and have a nice bit of craik while the whole town was creaking from Jim Mcsharry and co...

And i adored her.... she was humble meek long dark hair.. lovely sweetsmiley....  and as McSharry and co arrive at Sligo airport mid sunday afternoon for us to fly back to Luton except there is another three hours of drinking for them to fit in as they had forgotten the otherwise deserted airport bar...  their whole centre of gravity was " all hail our perfect heroic pilot valiantly fought his way through weather and red tape  to get us here... " etc..

We hereby bestow on you honorary citizenship of this airport bar... and weve all been watcjhing you all weekend we hereby DEMAND that you smuggle her back in the copilots seat or on Dermott's lap so she can hold the sick bag...and....

 And because i was even as perfect Pilgerite and McPhillemina  a prickish arrogant little big dickhead of a prejudiced Englishman i couldnt wash out of me with all the tea in china or blow out of my hair with all the dynamite in... the RUC locker room or was it UDF who cares just fat greedy blokes...

I couldnt bring myself to entirely put into action what i thought, about the most gorgeous of all perfect bloody wimmin... who i still often think of as if it were yesterday and i hadnt ran out of the 'sliding door' and buzzed off.... 

Audrey of Sligo.... 

cos i was still just a bit of a bloody  whateverist....

pompous little twatist (as all English always are deepdown and the cure so impossible) disguised as perfect Saitn Exupperian literary worldly hobo iconoclast 

never mind needing her passport, still... or now....

But I'm not just saying that because the thing is....  as said in audio if i recall or in Ralph on mental elf...

The silver lining as there ALWAYS is one of having an armalite shoved up my arse January 2010 and its still on repeat mode and always will be...

Indeed my experiences of 2003-4.... first round under fire worked 95% 

But still  there was even then early 2010 that smallest little bit of arrogant little english prick still hiding within...defensive, too choosy to even say ..."yes'  to her....then 

Is it was reduced rightly to...well it was 2010  cut out forever ...

Which ultimately is a greater gift than even Sean rightly had in eventual "he was right ALL along..."

I still never ever regret one second even if mine is a death sentence for life (As Munby wrote in 2005 for me  - prepping for this case in his paper of that winter infact Wall wrote as was obvious ... " if the state doesnt actually chop your head off any more then unjust removal  of child by the state or even complicity... in that...  maybe Straw Man's revenge {you never CAN know] ....  its worse than life without parole on fitted up charges... ")

and its also rather freeing to discover that all along  - decades back seen through, your own mother is worst Judas of all time...

But then as she was a buddy of a Beatle's Missus... the one who never said " oi you ex ...wifebating cunt.... cunt... send a learjet i mean you could could afford your own fleet of them one for every other day of the year....  and see your own son just ONCE a year for gods sake rather than monetise fake emotion via your songs and conning the world youre a caring dad.... ..."  its not really any surprise... 

Because even now still in fact it gets better and better i could not have such a truly enjoyed chat in the shithole of the fake universe this morning as i did....

with  a  couple of Micks...  finest folk ive met for a long time...  and REAL minds too...in a way NO Brit can ever be.... 

Only... a nuclear bomb up your bum can 'heal' anyone England-born... fully..... so I'm only the better for mine.... i hope Sean found the same over the years...

And i dont mean in 'public' i mean in private every morn for years just me and silence and nobody to notice you... thats the plan as you also need nobody to notice you...when you know you really were healed....of your fucking passport....

Now..i want a red one if it kills me... one day at least....