Twenty years ago I was offered a book contract. I was even taken out to lunch by the owner of the Imprint.

I was tempted but declined. For two reasons. Well three, really.

Firstly my daughter, as all kids do, needed the most present and engaged parent. That had always been my priority from summer 2000 when her parents split up.   Even a few weeks minor media tyart really does take it out of you. She needed all of me. 

Secondly, I didn't really 'need' to tell the story, for me. I was the most satisfied person almost ever in the 'family' justice system. (one of my first assumptions it was so dull to have to frequently deal with " poor you..." Nope, nobody else ever 'won' a custody battle, with, even if as the judge said 05 'minor' extra factors), and  won it in a way that was as concrete as possible. And that is because a senior judge (Ray Singh) did know various factors behind the scenes..or even TV camera. 

But also, there were always things there in the background (the 'other household') it would not be in anyone's interest were they to be aired in any public domain. Let's just put it this way, the settlement that became the supposed 'voluntary' arrangement the parents reached,  that as the High Court said " should be a template for all other couples" (see judgements page) wasn't really....voluntary.

My opponent in this custody matter was never mother. It was in fact her and a very very sad most unreconstructed man  she had taken up with summer 2002, who had in effect deserted his own two children - that's what it means if they are taken away 150 very long miles up Wales - a tough difficult commute,, and you as father no matter how unjust his ex wives actions were, don't move to be as close to them as possible. He decided that encountering a father (me - though he never dared to actually accept my invite to tea now he was LIVING in the same house as my 3 year old)  who maintained every single minute of his time with child - then half time at each house, who may just put into stark relief his own ... inaction, and he began a campaign to use my daughter's mum as his proxy for his rather warped sociopathy.. He began and maintained for years a sick war. 

And he continued for many years with just that kind of approach (friends in the forces .. and Wales is VERY masonic-mafia).

In May 2004  Ray Singh ordered full shared care recommence.  And he also ordered "PEACE". The other household however had other ideas and maintained an unpleasant vexatious lawfare.. (costing you the taxpayer many 10s of thousand pounds as it was all on unlawful legal aid being this man owned property and they should never have received a penny. I didn't - i did my own lawyering despite qualifying. I had nothing). 

In short in summer 2005 the "revolutionary" "template" case ending that I caused to come to pass - even if rather flukey, was FORCED upon the other household, by the highups:  "...you've had all the money in the world for your lawfare...and all our patience... and more court time than anyone else gets ..... either accept this...or perhaps you dont deserve to... dot dot dot..."

And i didn't want to or need to take away from the genuinely USEFUL 'template' that to me always honours my daughter.

Lets also just say that in 2002 the other household said (after losing their first vexatious  court case of false allegations sept 2002) ... in person a few weeks later " i am taking her to Poland and you will never see her again...you know my father is a senior [and VERY drunkard dangerous] policeman...he wont let you get within 100km of Zamosc..."

errata, spat it in my face on a public street outside my little bookshop. 

There also was at the time in the national British media a famous case of just that happening to an English  father  and it was often stated that he had no recourse to any courts in Poland as essentially they didn't really have any civil justice system at that time.

So, there is rather more..... than the laughable little BBC episode below... (they really are one dimensional and puerile).

But i didn't NEED to rock the boat - it was in 2006 a case of merely try and put out into public what is USEFUL to others. And leave it at that,  as it is difficult to tell only half of a story. 

But i did say to myself that in 20 years the raw version should be left behind for my descendants. It's astonishing  - i read avidly (no telly since Esti born) and augment it by radio 4  - keep one eye on the sad to say enemy... but its astonishing how many people even in their 60s are still REALLY in a mess due their childhood - recently i had a person to person example out of the blue... who may just share the same father as me.... age 63 he by his own admission is still wobbly and many women speak of that in fact more women..

so at least having a true version available, i think is important for future or one day 'mental health' for said descendent. 

And there is a third reason i shall not expand upon yet, and in fact is the ONLY reason I shall attempt to do more on this now, which is that the 'journey' or mission was far more subtly interesting than i was ready to attempt to put into engaging words then - 3006 I do not believe in us getting 'help' from the fairies. But there are almost metaphysical evolutions i went through,  i just wasn't able then to formulate into words. 

And i know they matter. That was the main reason i declined. 

And anyway there is a rather long epilogue. From 2010. Now ... i could never have imagined it would spin that way, nor that i would survive it doing so. And bizarrely that period - then, to now, I find so so much more interesting..... 

One aspect that may sound dull but i find interesting (and useful for others even if nobody ever can listen in UK)  is the mental health aspect.

I recently began a write up here.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XdHrSWixWHrbLoLFxIih27qXkJCvANS-ZDkiDW-riUQ/edit?usp=sharing

Not my 'mental health' .... but having a fair few memoirs of those with real fruitbatitis and studied it as adult undergrad ..i know 99% of what you are told about it - remedy, is bullshit, and i know you wont find a better attempt at dealing with some root cause...

Lets just put it this way for some years almost EVERY single seemingly sane middle class person i meet has disastrous insomnia. Almost all my age group speak endlessly of mental issues ..

If anyone has earned them - a head utterly fucked, it is me..

And yet i know my own mental health is brilliant, sleep always perfect.. and thats been constant for 38 years years

In fact that's the point: having to fight for your dear life for all that matters (ones values and fighting to keep to them no matter what all around do, i know is key - or one) - my daughter is the only thing that has mattered for 27 years, keeps you sane and well balanced even if you have to virtually live in Hades' dungeons... for decades. Even if i do the outdoor version in the sunshine  more than anyone else in UK i ever meet...

Anyway time to do a slightly more adult version of the 'story' . Soon.

Not that anyone especially me cares even if i have not one second of regret, as i know i have dedicated 97% of my waking hours no matter what for 27 years to my daughter.   But actually far more for the how to live on version. Without confected suffering vulnerability or victimhood... (all i could have gone along to the Council and claimed  10 genuine gold stars for years ago) 

Oh yes and the little matter of 'feminism'. Especially the last 5ish years i have 'studied' every single wave and ebb and flow of it.  Mary HArrington back to De Beauvoir. This case is about pure equalicism. And my daughter would tell me even in 2015 she is a 'feminist'. 

I have given speeches on it (unplanned). and i opened with... " all this fancy legal stuff... ask almost every modern progressive woman i have ever known and it is ONLY about one thing; doing HALF the housework...and baby work or at least as soon as its off the tit; titmilk expression devices been around for at least thirty years in fact  i would guess quite a few centuries.

 But it is also about equal RESPONSIBILITY. Not to tell lies.... 

There is recent writing in fact on how so many women are in a truly bad way 'mentally ill'. Lots of 'cluster B'. There comes a point where it cannot all be merely blamed on years of oppression in fact serious female writers are getting very nasty about their sisterhood. Here is one example

https://hannahspier.substack.com/

In one of her pieces she basically says that false allegations, yes often on witness stands,  even if part of a cluster B personality disorder, may best be treated by proper punishment...

If someone had done that in this one 2002 to a certain person/couple, it may have saved a LOT of taxpayer cash....

All i know is that for my 'feminist' daughter i would not wish any pyric victory. As they aren't. They never last....

A REAL permanent shift in culture such that men take equal responsibility for home/babas ..sharing work opportunity and housework...  still has a fair way to go...

never mind UK becoming the world centre of false allegation - probably caught up with USA now...

To me if i were a woman i would be ashamed at the behaviour of many of my sisterhood...

and as a man i have always been VERY very circumspect about most british fathers pretending to be 'family men'... 

And as everyone now agrees from teachers to psychs .. the last few years a tsunami of behavioural problems are getting far worse in kids ...

and ONLY mum and dad together even if in some enforced peace treaty can ever fix that... the notion the state could ever have afforded to be subcontracted as Missus Fixit...was always insane 

(despite living off grid  5 years only in a small van, with extremely limited computing abilities  - to even detypo never mind write properly, i do get at least 1000 page impressions here a week and often many thousand a week at another  - far more gonzo freeform, place... i need allies! .. dont mind cross fertilisation! ... )

Arty Farty stuff

 Following on from 

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/media-on-cases.html

oops i WAS going to write, where the glorious Sophia QC  of famous campaigning chambers,  Tooks

https://social.shorthand.com/SophiaCannon/ugYrVXdVZ/about-sophia#:~:text=%23UndercoverMutha,Sophia%20Cannon&text=She%20was%20called%20to%20Middle,Law%20in%20Tooks%20Court%20Chambers.

 called yours truly   "Che Guevara" to the cameras,  however it seems they GOT hertoo poor thing....

 https://www.barstandardsboard.org.uk/resources/unregistered-barrister-sophia-cannon-ordered-to-be-disbarred.html

https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/barrister-embroiled-in-personal-proceedings-disbarred-for-abuse-of-process/5102909.article

Anyway i seem to have wasted twenty years of my life having random informal conversation with all and sundry, especially many mothers, who say they 'care' about things like a fair society, or even justice..

Yet as soon as one mentions 'transparency' it is as if one is speaking a foreign language - canibalese, and indicates one would want to eat their babies, too... the notion that any ordinary person may ever have anything to do with the 'media' is for other people.... and somehow one is lesser for even thinking how the Fourth estate may just have been developed for a reason - truth to power...

And power.... one wonders if they have the money or ability to go and dose them all via 'chem trails' or Mister Gates' arm-delivered,  microchip they all show off being obsessed about (the last 10 years all one hears!) , when maintaining transparency in society is a long hard VERY boring struggle... as they the powerful have centuries experience doing sneaky things to shut up a citizen with a good case...

... until, that is..... something goes wrong in THEIR lives. 

when it's too late. They 'get' it then.....

which means i have had twenty years of from aside - listening... slightly Socratic conversationing ... listening to the ordinary people become EXACTLY what power wanted, infantalised....

All i wish to do is somehow create whistful story and art about those twenty years...

Because as sure as ferrets are ferrets to quote what even a dumb white rabbit knew,  real 'power' - which is merely corporate interests as it has been several centuries, has been sitting there chuckling  for twenty years that nobody carried forward the important foundational test case below.... 

which is why they still get away with all sorts of shenanigans...

As Emily Barley knows, and thus was on the wireless this morning regarding unnecessarily DEAD BABIES stating https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/ce8jr2rnze2t

"TRANS....PARENCY!"  is the only solution.... 

And you can bet your bottom dollar that the 'system' - which means every single person wearing a lanyard, from the security guard at the baby bin, to the top consultant and judge, and prison governor if Emily was seen by them to be TOO successful, will say at some stage - usually quietly by the bins out the back  " well ...maybe its not a good idea to go on telly talking about that.... i mean maybe...just possible..... someone in authority, may be 'harassed' or offended  by your campaign and take a counter-case.....maybe even try to gag you...and their legal fees will be paid for  by their work.....yours, and THEIRS, if you lose  - round 4 as they can afford to go all the way to The Supremes...  by youtoo...goodbye any house, or even future car finance you may need.."
How it actually works, in the real world...

nobody ever listened or did much about anything

A superb subject for art.

Kafka... even Orwellian...

Ask Ai Weiwei... what art is for?!

And all British art seems to ever do is nothing; or even worse, pretend Unmade Beds are even slightly interesting when under the covers of their darkness its TEN times more bloody and brutal 

Twenty years.. where did it go....

 

My Life Story - the end ...

 This post (just a page of many)  will be improved over the coming few days.

As some know (but they don't know why) i have lived entirely off grid in a  van for 5 years (no solar charging system either, as it draws attention). My only impediment is not much battery in my laptop for days on end. (as ALL public spaces in the UK literally went mad 15+ years ago - there is no 'free speech' to say to even the librarian - many libraries i have tried to use,  " PLEASE would you respect the human ferkin rights of library users to have a QUIET space where YOUR holiday arrangements arent broadcast loudly to your fellow library employees and into the users workspace so i know every dull detail!  or your latest illness" - UK literally did go mad). And thus no time to write nicely and fully. A quick splurge  may take an hour- i can type and write very fast, ,  but to edit it to nicer more succinct writing takes five. I never have. 

Now.... this site was set up only to attempt to get people to think about what 'freedom of speech' WAS 'for'.  NOTHING to do with the 'culture wars' of the last 6 or 7 years. 

What i REALLY care about is maybe two simpler matters.

1. This legal battle on the publicity matter especially (NOT a rear guard, as Sophia Cannon said a deliberate "revolutionary" attack on the culture) only came about as I an UNeducated person  - left school at 16, but i developed my imagination  - in this case to IMAGINE how the law SHOULD be when everyone else - experts, said i was actually mad to try!, via years of mainly novel reading. Not bimbo crap like Terry Pratchet. Not elitist either. But via the quiet languid simpler books like Coetzee's Michael K  or Hesse or Gabriel Garcia Marquez (though i prefer women writers). And apparently overall reading in ordinary people has now totally collapsed other than in respect of silly rubbish such as 'crime' or even now we have 'romantasy'. This is the real crisis that modernity faces. 

2. Monitoring the public conversation for many years it ASTONISHES me that in the modern conversation no expert (psych / justice / etc), so called modern day 'campaigner',  or mature senior journalist  can EVER in the UK say "  when a man is around a young kid a lot it civilises him... tends to pacify him and make him into an overall safer citizen [longterm - rest of life]."

Nor do they say  in respect of both sexes, that "having a kid can mature you  [or at least once DID]  into someone who one day  - when kiddos are maybe off to school with some autonomy .. to take wider society far more seriously and even 'take part' ... " Meaning when you look at the environmental issues for example  (FACT - the data is clear all over and i am expert 60% collapse in bird numbers 50 years and rate has DOUBLED last 20 years; amphibians have almost disappeared the last few decades;  insect [pollinator] numbers are down something like 60% this century - that is Apocalypse) 

.......you sit there thinking "I love my 5 year old... and now i get it, it is THEIR planet... so i should take part in the 'cause', for THEM, i love.." Its the only real power i know of.   

And then also so many modern commentators the last few years have been showcasing books and other commentators about how truly wonderful it is to be 'child free'. 

Strange that... i have meandered several regions of the UK where many (50 something) wealthier people take earlyish retirement and many S.West villages are in fact  very 'female' (and actually well known as lesbian getaway / holiday locations ) meaning that middle aged single women  gravitated here  - and a high proportion are childfree ex careerists (as its very expensive here) , they seem to have ended up retiring to the region en masse  and feel 'safe'... 

.....great ..wonderful... except one problem: my my the real unhappiness in   their eyes, and posture;  they cannot hide. And several female friends my age speak of the childless middle aged woman (with no purpose left!)  being the most destructive person in THEIR communities... 

 

Anyway MY life story i am attempting to simplify and starting here:

VERY first draft

I am not 'eccentric' i am quite normal. 

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14nXChKCwDsUzL15lT7iasN-gaDoTxs_c?usp=sharing

This legal case. Summary. 

I recently wrote this to someone and will edit it into a more succinct version soon.

I arguably have the most important UK  legal 'TEST case' this century in the civil courts on state vs citizen - entirely staged.  The citizen's right to speak out. (not some random lawfare scrap) Bear with me whilst i explain a little a subtly complex matter, i know you alone will have the intelligence to grasp.

I know America (and the reality of US society, constitution etc.) well. UK is as you will know a little less straightforward.  

I shall now riff upon 'Freedom of Speech' - what my  test case was  kindof billed as, however this has been rather warped the last decade into something a long way from what it was initially developed for. At least in part.

The US first Amendment speaks of freedom to express ideas and opinions.  Over the decades the majority of real people living humdrum daily existence came to depend on the freedom to 'CALL OUT' bad acts  of landlord/ employer / commerce and state power via the 1st..  Truth to power.

In the UK until 2006 this legal case was the test case which established where the line was between privacy (for the ordinary citizen) and the wider need by the citizenry to know truth  - for the common good. And universal societal justice to evolve So as to effect democratic accountability.

prior to me 
Clibbery v Allan ([2002] EWCA Civ 45) is a landmark English family law case regarding privacy and confidentiality in family proceedings. The Court of Appeal ruled that documents filed in private family court are not subject to a blanket obligation of confidentiality, balancing the right to a fair trial with free speech


In the UK 'confidentiality' is so often used as SOP by power so as to hide THEIR dodgy deeds from any public scrutiny. Clibbery vs Allan set the benchmark as to where the edge of the bench was.. in ALL areas of law. 

I came along (2005-6) and for NO benefit or need in my own life, reset that benchmark via my 2006 test case which the most powerful judge in the Royal Courts of Justice set up via me (he knew i was a reasonable person and also wouldnt take anything personally - all a game). He  - Lord Justice Wall, deliberately nurtured the case forward in front of three of the most senior RCJ judges so it would go straight into UK law overriding parliament. (that's what 'common law' means - by precedent but it has to be top dog judges).


My own case was ostensibly that a ridiculous  High Court Injunction ('gagging order') had been almost automatically handed out to me a year earlier when there was no sane reason.  They are very serious as they carry a 2 year gaol term for contempt if broken - in reality four years,  as quite uniquely contempt sentences dont get half time. I was doing truly nice sweet philosophical TV a little (interviewee on mainstream tv ) connected with child law  - never ever contentious in fact i was most conciliatory and useful in my statements - why TV would keep coming back to me.

But forget 'child' law or the like as in Clibbery a lot of other civil (and some criminal too) law was 'set' to this British fudge which basically held that the STATE can hide behind powerful  'secrecy' legislation   when it does naughty acts on the citizen  - power misbehaves knowing that the citizen can't go to the 4th estate as they can gag everyone concerned via 'privacy' legislation.  Clibbery set the dial.

In short from 2006  i reset that dial causing FAR greater openness.  My case (Me vs the state not the other parent named) held that  EVEN in child cases, the default setting in the courts - all of them, must be that unless there is extremely troubling history that would wound a child for life if it were ever publicly revealed  there must be de facto transparency. Always.

It was not a  'test case' re child law it was a test case that because it affected a child (the 'hardest cases') it would serve as precedent in ALL other cases of the state (or business) attempting to silence the citizen via gag in all other less 'hard' cases of law. i.e. "if its necessary to the public good to go public in a  CHILD case, well a case about an old person being poisoned by rancid bacon in an old folks home the kids  want to get out there in the press [or even on Fakebook] is FAR less philosophically hard to countenance.."

How it came to work in the real world, if ones elderly parent is mistreated in a care home, if the family said to the management that they were "going to the papers to expose their bad ways" even the care home management would of course resort to the acts of a scoundrel in " its not in the best interest of the old person even if they have suffered as you allege, to have their 'private' afflictions spoken of in public... GAGGED!" in reality it works by threat of LEGAL COSTS against an aggrieved citizen if MAYBE a gag is sought..

And the real never discussed de facto gagging in UK worse than US is that lawyer fees are roughly 3x so a costs order against a citizen (paying local authority's fees or say a care home) is far more serious a threat!

it is the true root of a culture of silence in uk far less problematic in USA .. the cost of litigation used as THE weapon...

 

By changing the benchmark to the 'hardest case'  - a child, this meant that almost always no 'authority' could threaten injunction in the event the citizen felt a bit of public truth to power may assist...

I did my own lawyering - untrained self taught. I am 3x Erin Brockovich though sadly 3x less pretty.  David vs (major legal aid supported) Goliath.

As it was 'staged' by the  sadly late LJ Wall, all the senior media were almost involved in the case. As were many of his fellow judges.  It was interesting the huge PR operation underway in parallel  - that i in fact orchestrated (and used to advantage). Interestingly every single senior broadsheet journo (all female as women did 'domestic' news)  were completely on side - celebratory. Some, bless 'em, even claimed to be fellow "campaigners" for transparency. (like the famous late Denise Roberts of ITV This Morning). All BS  - none helped. All said i was nuts to try and roll back this Berlin Wall legal paradigm. Until i did.  

And Wall had corralled all his fellow judges to fall into the new line i had created. Many official speeches etc..

Sadly most of the journos of either sex were too thick to really understand even the most basic aspect - it was the 'benchmark' foundational new precedent that could and would be used in almost all 'publicity' decisions in the future.

It is still badly written up here https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/media-on-cases.html

(it is taught on UK law degree courses )

THE (2000s) one superstar of free speech law Price QC refers to it more than any other case in his list of notable cases (me in there with all the rascals from AL Fayyad to Galloway  )   https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/price-qc.html  - he did the speeches (only) in appeal court i did all the writing that got us there... 

 

In 2008 they had a go (Jack straw) at reversing it. He failed. I am a nuclear weapon. Within a few months of him announcing in the HoC he was going to " we have consulted...we have listened to all the campaigners.... we will enshrine in new law next year  fullest transparency with new legislation.... [the last paragraph stating of his statement to the HoC ] ' this will have the effect of reversing Clayton...' .. "

All the journos especially Camilla CAvendish (i was directly in touch with some years) too thick to realise a sop.... until Frances Gibb legal ed of the Times reprinted an email  from me to her (my buddy) stating this is a HOODWINK... straw was deceiving parliament and a few weeks later he did a u turn on TV.

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/media-on-defense-of-clayton-freedom-of.html

6 years later by further dodgy dealings (details dont matter)  when i was incapacitated due grief they played a fast one and enacted new law closing my lacuna.

End of that dull story (still needs a book on - fancy a crack?) other than to say i understand more than anyone in UK the reality of law regarding Free Speech and.... what it is FOR. It has been my last 20 years.

Now... i am fully with you on your approach to 'culture wars'. No reservations. I probably wasn't a FS 'absolutist' until 9 or 10 years ago when as we know it all got very silly at which point i certainly became an FS absolutist. BUT  - and i now approach the reason for this communique, this modern need to debate where is a line in appropriate 'offence'? blahh blahh i lament has entirely obfuscated what FS was FOR - for the majority of people... that freedom, necessity to call out bad acts of baddies. And i don't mean in campuses.  Baddies who may  use child lawfare on Jenny E Holland because they don't like your 'parenting style' - a euphemism for not liking YOU. Your opinions....   Though of course really what it is for is to protect the simple ordinary legal norms applied to those without any 'voice' beyond a few instagram pretend friends.  When for instance, as still happens, the parents tell the school they aren't sure if they wish their 5 year old to have a vaccination as they have read some seemingly intelligent material suggesting there are risks... shabby NAzi authority figures (unjustly) use child law to silence them... 

Ohhh my ... even teachers will sometimes - maybe often, go into 'dangerous parent' mode and threaten decent parents with the very worst of futures... and the parents can't go public or even talk about it openly.  

Just as Stalin did... just as all tyrants have ever done... use the kids to get at the (heterodox / iconoclast  ) parents 

(the law i took forward was mainly aimed at protecting HETERODOX parents i knew and legally supported from mid 00s- i.e. the ones who think for themselves, often home school, and are in fact more thoughtful parents the system really does hate/fear)


Now thats the last time i mention all that except to explain why i nowadays despair.  Many years speaking with ordinary people about 'freedom of speech'  - what it was FOR; what i took public as test case protecting that basic need to have as last resort access to press, the last 6 or 7 years it now has been entirely lost in what you quite rightly call out the need to even offend (the precious) in an attempt to get to 'truth' yes about all sorts of mad woke stuff...

culture wars on "you can't say that" has DESTROYED all discourse on what FoS was REALLY necessary for.... protecting the small person against state (or big business) bad acts.....it is the real tragedy of this last decade the woke argument has diverted us all from that forever necessity.

Ohh yes as a demi-Norther irelander i have a secondary credential which is that in the 90s i owned a small bookshop in Hay-on-Wye,  and one day an Irishman came in asking me if i could get him what he described as a 'banned book'... intrigued i bought a load of them and proudly sold in my shop the banned book

The Committee... https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/The_Committee.html?id=bxGHAAAAIAAJ&redir_esc=y

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1355759.The_Committee ......hailed by many experts as the most important book about Northern Ireland ever written  [he alone pointed finger at UK complicity in murder squads in Ireland suiting the UK purpose of making the troubles more gruesome than need be...for vested interests' benefit]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2000/mar/31/northernireland.sarahhall

 
i already knew Pilger and Tariq Ali well - my mentors,  but Mc Phillemy joined that group of real journalistic heroes as soon as i put my nose into his great book. 

In 2006 I had the privilege of appearing on the same webpage as him  referring to the few most notable freedom of speech legal cases https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/price-qc.html ... Price QC  did Sean, too I am immensely proud of. 

Years of lawfare by the state subtly destroying Sean i believe took a great toll on him. Only late last year did the final official exoneration come out - nobody even noticed,  that his great book was 100% accurate 

"ART"

Now, it may not yet appear so but this is a work of art - now..

perfart

As only one curator or whatever she was of it at last kindof 'get's that even when asked "are you an artist"

"no"

I disagree i can see a real artist in you.."

" yes you are right" 

Aparet from being right i also know a miracle when a British female of the species doesnt automatically argue as a default setting.

ooh that's a popular page, here 

and in real life which for me has been for two decades an extension, when NOT being a 100% on duty parent - meaning not that we had mobile phone signal lass and I up in the hills, had we it would have been OFF, always... when she was living equally with me, an extension in my free time not being ripped off by employers who pretended they wished their gates fixed and fences built in the REAL hills of E Wales ..into attempting to say or even photojournalise real things, about real society on behalf of the many damaged by it who don't have my bounce...as i have always had bounce..

Live from the top of the very underwhelming Dartmoor, no offence to the suburb that is the SW but i lived most of the previous to 2023   30 years  up real hills trhat are also lonely and nowhere which is so so good for you - being nobody nowhere..

And in such places one learns to stick all of everywhere into perspective.

One thing being nobody really cares about the state so torturing parents such that Ai Weiwei would appreciate Helena Kennedy should shut the fuck up with her on Monday last " we should censor some speech" 

When on 19th January    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m002q2qm [vpn required wiscribe great if outside uk] even the rather dubious Gove  with no qualifier or nuance says " we now have the GROTESQUE situation that venture capital money profits from children being taken into 'care' [wrongly,  as he well knows as Cameron did and Gove was big bumchums still is one can be sure] .."

Anyway these pages sorry big job to scroll back 3 years ago - feature commentary on how the superb film Listen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listen_(2020_film)  apart from featuring great acting by the only filmstar woman i have ever fancied bigtime and she ignored my imploring her to collaborate on maybe a book or the like woe is me... because she also clearly has a super REAL mind... 

Is art and truth. Ive been in those rooms seeing parents tortured precisely as Ana so brilliantly portrayed..

And yes we need 'art' about all that HOWever....

As riffed upon here a year or so ago (a post called  "this is england" or it may be on Ralph) sadly they are about 15 years too late or at least ten...

Because as a still occasional lay legal operative advising parents in the hell of that movie unfortunately and i dont use 'labels' as i know how the state terrorises fairly sane parents with them... 

Almost everyone does have BPD...  they can no longer rationally connect the actions so so lovingly laid out in front of them by me at great length kindly and empathetically.. to REMEDY their situation, to the fact they must with people like me holding their hands, DO the steps to remedy the situation and merely have become some bizarre VERY assiduous communicator OF the injustices they have befallen, and even 'activist' against these injustices... and very intelligently recite long stretches of the files with the case against them...on their PHONE to me or people like me or even in person for free not even a sarnie offered to rendez vous with them and listen for hours... (despite them having much nicer clothes  than i and often very expensive tattoos when i can't even afford a haircut so have left it for decades - rather focusing on using my meagre income on REAL life - assisting them ) 

In short yes Matthewsitis did gradually roll over so much of the land..

And it fatal.

To society at large and especially the kids - if not yours they will have friends brought up in a very BPD household and it can't be cured.

The day it began...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnapping_of_Shannon_Matthews 

Anyway now for several years i riff but VERY purposefully to rev myself up for all that i knew 5 years ago matters, to just maybe with some artfulness say SOMETHING useful about not only child matters but my equal concerns the environment (and at root of all DIRE modern day journalism) 

And at last as well of thousands of readers the last year often 4000 a day,  at

https://www.ralphschism.com/

some even put their hands in their pocket and cough up cash for my huge always free offering of artful riffing, 'gonzo' journalism - which isn't if one has a mind one knows i am being two dimensional and my words are deadly serious...even if dressed up in performance art

https://www.ralphschism.com/p/funding.html

The real 'art' is i loved it when for years no bugger coughed up into 

Anyway so much of 'this' meaning the real stories behind this ..

actually are woven into the huge monolithic Proust on no drugs as i never even drink  - pure in the 'zone' creative waffle ... thousands of pages some even ok poems all 100% spontaneous

https://www.ralphschism.com/2025/10/nowthere-is-sequence.html

me and Chapman

https://www.ralphschism.com/2024/09/the-artist.html

and actually not 'me' by which i mean not the 'real' me though not any  performace alter ego either - the real 'ART' is pumping onself up top say SOMEthing be it in person or on the page, when one is a VERY quiet reserved part hermit all ones life...

BUt even hermits aint thick when they encounter so many saying NOTHING..

artful or real...so let go and  give the greatest gift of all - be someone not oneself to attempt to make a higher than the 'self' fuckin point!

Nobody does..i know as i have meandered 5 years seeking just one who may

plus  - far more my 'self' 

https://ralphschism.substack.com/

Plus https://landlope.com/ a kindof simpler real self

All soon - but so many hundreds of pages and many absurdist video clips all quite sane and philosophical...

needs to be woven back together into one big comfy blanket

it works i have never been as CNTRED and happy...always....come what may

The only thing i am unhappy about is having 100% 'let go' in an attempt to let inner new creativity soar a tad knowing a few collaborators would be good...i have spent at least 1000 hrs face to face with several potentials and every single one is a pseud who fakes their interest in even art...

i was planning to develop https://www.pseudeia.com/ more stand-alone poetically, a bit Homer like...

but havent had the battery time, yet... as that's what it was created for 10 years ago.. 

Nothing has changed at all in fact only got worse

(why the environment is buggered)

But what has really got even worse is even artists no longer know " Grayson Perry said he made by FAR the most cash in his whole dull career selling an exhibition of his art taunting HIS OWN rich customers...  so lets make art on how the rich utterly screw the environment THEY largely own thats where the CASH is nothing new under the sun the rich  used to pay painters to stab them in the neck via a good painting 500 years ago for gods sake!"

is artful ...and worth a go...

ALL artists i ever meet are meek conformist cowardly custards..

shame as i know for even more certain there really IS money in very jabby art - blaming Banksy for failing to REALLY motivate anyone to do any REAL eco martyrdom - which isnt as each one of us cutting WAY back on our overuse of xenobiotics (see ralph and asil my guest posts there is infact freedom and makes the cutter back feel great over time...art about that too would be good! nobody dares bother to try.. anyway i have 2 decades of fabulous archive chronicle that needs turning into simpler art for the simple 1 dimensional minds it seems we have nowadays by default unless someone proves me wrong...none of even my artists friends dare do...as they are so ridiculously conformist even my bestie a revolutionary fabulous brown babe  was there on marches pro Pally but dare NOT say in her art which she says to me frequently and quite articulately that our society ids one hundred percent one dimensional and the only time it ever goes 2d is when YOUR self made cages are wobbled off the dull shelf and you bounce....... but you never leave them i know i have all my life been a very very photographer's-eye, people watcher...i see no tits out backs straight and march on ever anywhere, merely shuffling, nowhere... and that's the pretty ones!) 

Inspired...

 

If a certain schoolteacher i met today puts her splendid nose in here, I am going to try to write one short succinct summary, in fact of our conversation. (as universal and never personally meant  - never about any one person, but that was a most sincere wonderful riff upon the 'issues'...and i know it was received fully  - i enjoyed so finding that sincerity.) As, although inadequate - Neruda said " A conversation does not begin until we have been speaking for an hour..", it really was the perfect chat. All I have been about for 25 years but especially the last decade was in a wonderful, and i know sincere, meeting of minds. Doen't mean anyone ever has to do ANYthing...but 10 years i do seek some kind of at least creative thinker - anyone can! you just have to DO it.... on those subjects...

And I have been inspired to attempt  to leave here one simple summary. 

Even if for ten years my real main 'mission' has been the hilariously failed one to find a companera who is on the same page regarding certain things in that conversation. They are universal; but most became too precious (fearful and also made lonely by the absolute dystopian inability TO address the basics - and thus so many of their relationships rather shallow... and that's before we add in the atomisation of social media)

I am 100% constant. The mood i express - though 'pumped up' for the purpose of attempting to find new friends, is my mood, always, no matter what. I know i achieved that   - never taking anything to heart ever again and also mojo 95% always - and keys are not in ANY self help book. It also happens that its crystal clear scientifically that we live longer and also are far more protected from the ubiquitous 'age related memory issues' if we do in fact 'engage' (with society) at the level that may indeed be sometimes a bit risky, and even lose us (shallow) friends... those who live out their integrity, really do keep their brain tip top and their eyes brighter for longer. That above all i would wish to pass on ....

26 December 2015 i walked out on midwinter morning...to sort of restart life a little. A few months after a several year splendid coupling up had ended, and kindof looking after a slightly troubled young woman ...it was time for me now.

For several years i had mentored the young woman into her wish quite independently to take part in grassroots (And official) Green politics in the region - our 'territory The Marches from Hay in the South to Clun in the North. 4 constituencies. Known on sight by various landowners and farmers in the region as ecofocused (even though i could speak 'farmer' as i had been one in my youth)  there was always considerable risk. In the booneys they dont like Greens. They can get hurt. Especially when there were so very few of us.

I had also in 2010 and 2014 had two different experiences on fairly large (and valuable half a mil or more) landholdings owned by single  women well into middle age which were hilariously dangerous.  various forms of very dubious activity ongoing i had no idea of at frst and the way it goes as as one is seen as uncorrupted - even if one isnt daft you dont rub it in, they dont half scratch... they will do almost anything to harm you seriously - usually by false allegation or something similarly wonky..

For that reason i ALWYS had a 'protective' recording device on whenever i ventured out.

My entirely innocent quest pilgrimage that i didnt know i was beginning and which i would be engaged upon maybe 1/4 of all daylight hours from then until now was twofold but it became three.

I jot enjoyably most days at this site - a more cheeky seditious version of life, though far more real than this site aimed at attracting a publisher or filmmaker.  This morning i put these audio files up

https://www.ralphschism.com/2025/12/the-solution.html

But there's nothing new in it as frequently i refer for years to two simplest matters: to protect the environment - be active in that world one is taken   FAR  more seriously if in a couple.

 And one can be far more effective as a couple more or less singing from the same hymn sheet (As Bach inspired me to attempt to find in his rather great Bridge Across Forever).

Furthermore as i say in the first audio (on marriage or equivalent) even parents are treated FAR more respectfully by teachers doctors and any other 'child services' department if they are seen as a couple. Fact. If social services are made aware of some suggestion a child is being mistreated time and time again, in fact ALWAYS they are far less ready to abuse and play games with a child who has two parents that attend 'safeguarding' style meetings, together. Whereas they pick on single parents.  Frankly many such organisations are little more than rather grubby 'bullies'. Bullies pick on solo targets.  This extends into many other areas of life as riffed upon in the audio landlords treat solo tenants FAR worse than those in couples.

My objective find a new partner for life... aforementioned reasons. By that time almost recovered fully from 5 years of terrible inner cement mixer... my child was fatally used as weapon  xmas and then fully January 2010, by the worst of all men ... they never recover from that ...

As i would wander along - mainly walking in the hills, chat up any potential new landowner  - befriend, maybe find some enjoyable new smallholder/landwork - i like to do for around 1/3 the available daylight  hours.

si i started to walk out most days a few hours sometimes all day. Around 1/4 of all daylight hours. I was based 100m from the base of the Welsh foothills 7km from Presteigne (a cheaper far shabbier version of Hay-on-Wye  - ,me4aning most of the new wave of incomers there hhad only read about 2 half decent books in theior whole life but pretended they were Mother Theresa met Helen MAcdonald or RAynor Winn..)  same distance from Kington (99% oldschool Herefordshire extreme drunkard druggy underclass) the other way. I far preferred my walkings out to....Kington.

In short as i walked (no car a few years) ... in the hills or sometimes to the towns for groceries and attempting to find on the cheap good books in the many charity shops around for my daughter's library.. (about 750 great books lit etc) i wouold speak with random peeps met in the rural places - often alone up in the hills,  and attempt to get as ALLIES any local person - allies in Green stuff first..

but then as 2016 clicked in...on matters EU...

And from then my chats - i call chronicles CLEARLY never ever staged... became such an interesting record OF ... 2016... and the aftermath

But i DO things too....so myself i began to extend my wandering far further afield really revving up usually one to one talk on EU matters to discover if ANYone would wish to join others and be prepared at least to DO something...(come any future vote) 

so i became most 'active' ... but nobody ever ever would follow through on their words...

2020 for me in past region infact rather enjoyed - we didn't 'have' a pandemic meaning very sparely populated and many did have to continue as normal - farming building etc... i revved up from summer into solely green issues chats and having solo stopped a large development 2016/17 and solo stopped a few other local eco problems i was ready to go into a superboosted orbit...so 3 years seeking allies.... so so many chats 

ruined rivers (all The MArches now  - all the way up the Welsh English border - which is almost impossible to grasp with such low population) ...etc.. Extinction Rebellion came and went...ran away crying actually. I was a kindof fairly active cheerleader attempting to nudge many in to meetings and become involved.

Then relocating (only for the one REALLY hoped for companera...to the SW summer 2023, that being a non starter, from early spring 2024 wandering 1000s of km the Coastal path and finding true jo at last: hundreds of walking Europeans !

I get on well with them having spent a lot of my first adult 20 years more in Europe than UK.

I am not in the loop in respect of European environmental matters but still was in respect of childhood.

Over 18 mths until this autumn i have had dozens of even formal 'interview' chats with European mothers and also many school teachers and social workers on their health Cornish walking holidays.

One day (soon) i must get to publishing it all - all recorded...

" so do you Euro mum/teacher have self harm, drug, false allegation, 'gender' issues continually distracting your day...?even child sui*ide..?"

" sorry what do you mean....what are you speaking about please?"

i.e. they dont

My chronicle near 10 years of what Britain really became ...though theres fun and me making a fool of myself chatting up admired hillwalking women etc etc... i know is important. There are ten books in it all.

One of course a Quixotic or even Odyssey-style  ..'journey'...road trip all on foot and often just around a region i may be based in for 6 months down here moving every 6mths to different parts of the coast now by Dartmoor i guess i will stay at... though i have no idea if its possible to find ANY sincere friend - my my its so cliquey...and as for work, well

see the gibbers on ralphschism

One cannot believe one word that comes out of ANY mouth....ever any more.... 

And i photograph all my jobs for protection even after ive said on day 1 " i assume that every landowner rich enough to employ a slave at minimum wage will have hidden cameras so you wont get fiddled on hours of work...nor any tools pinched...." so it AINT ME as they all say GREAT JOB ... and either fuck you over future promised work (meaning you end up not looking for new work content with what promised)  or 50% of the time have wriggled out of wages owed!

Thats why i record every word...

there is NO hope for the uk. None... morally bankrupts if the landowners - often nothing more than jhumped up ex bohemians whove inherited mummy's dodgy British Empire cash...cant keep to theior word: pay the rural day worker... there is nothing left

:-) me i love it...long ago learned to lean into it all and just file it all away for future comedic material if i ever geta  socket to write it all up... verbatim will be fine... truth even stranger and more interesting than fiction

names changed to protect...

certainly not the innocent but even if i win 90% of my legal scraps they are SO boring and will cost some mad defamation actor ...more than me... 

ohh yes another reason for my chronicles..

many times in 15 years i sought friend - many christian as it happens, asking "will you keep my story if i keel over dead my lass will know no truth of who her dad was..." 

Discovering every single one narcissistic mad liar even my STILL friend Bishop Jo Penberthy,  i often as i go like some wonky fool have told bits of my 'story' to different random peeps as i quest...odyssey...meander...

the real story

ralph substack audio podcast has already a fair bit woven into it...UNcensored...names named....sometimes

long listen many hours for a very rainy long winter i expect nobody to ever be bothered to ..

but when you cant ever trust anyone to even just hold your story....well..i did it the fun way. It was....and i learned so so so much too...

little bit more to add tomorrow

Now....

 The material below (from the start of this series of  pieces, right at the start hit 'older posts'  i had planned from 2018ish but was distracted due actually DOing stuff  attempting to rally the pro EU troops is there may be another vote, in my past region where 4 constituencies kindof met... 4 years meandering NOBODY else did a thing - attempting to encourage maybe democrats to take part...all recorded is a superb chronice of why Nigel earned is awful BREXIT as nobody on the remain side except one farmer Helen even managed a sign aside the road... all my side merely moaned or worse...5000km i cycled around randomly speaking with peeps... asking if they cared enough to just perhaps be part of organising for some other democratic ask....so yes distracted and only got to it early 2020....) ...has a dull truth of the uk family  - your journalists don't know of as their whole culture is BBC metrosexual  and in fact theyre not interested in kids...

Thats no Miss Oh Jenny statement its a fact from many great chats over a few years  - 2003-7ish with in fact GREAT women journalists from Frances Gibb legal ed Times to Sue Reid of The Mail ... all of whom were scathing about the disgusting establishment behaviour behind the scenes... using discord in families for profit, careerism and above all the absolute ignorance - even the very top legal supremos of all child-civil law - which is the largest division in the RCJ...  so hated their work that one could easily track their pronouncements and judgements and rule changes that a 3 year old could see were against their OWN stated rules regulations intentions...

My own very best example not to bore but having spent 3 or 4 expensive (relative to my non existent income) months  trying to get legal aid to fight a clearly mad and ONLY vexatious High Court gagging order  from autumn 2004 (as the test case did prove! - nonsense but High Court injunctions out of the blue are a serious matter - 2 years slammer for breaking them  - in reality 4 years slammer as you dont get half time remission which in ALL other penalties you do automatically) 

Anyway off to the legal aid board twice from summer 2005 if memory serves to be told after huge piles of paperwork (no lawyer i couldnt afford one whereas mum lied about her living arrangements with a  chap with plenty of equity so stole 50 grand .. more like 100 of your taxpayer cash...blesser thats what you get when you dont understand morality as you live with the typical English bovver boy who thinks expensive motorbikes maketh man..) ... so boxes of paperwork later one is told by the  so smiley and polite gentlemany legal aid board " what a splendid fullsome representation so helpful to us at your appeal tribunal for legal aid refued... however we cannot grant legal aid to appeal the injunction as there is no conceivable case that you will win.."

Obviously Orwellian. Bearing in mind what happens a year late.

So...DIY... best evil action against me in my life... shitstained undies ...a few sleepless nights " what on EARTH am i doing i dont need to speak out i already have ... almost enough but then theres all these others utterly gagged who never will...what a twat i am to even ponder going forward..."

By some daft reckless act one morning summer 2005 all at peace with all everything had been settled as good as a year...i just said why not

essentially because theres a rule of human beings: its called psychopathy, which is created i would guess even if in imperceptible ways in childhood,  if you let someone unjustly 'win' .. it ends up making them far more of a monster over time...

anyway ... so no legal aid off to see LJ Wall (the big beast of the whole RCJ .. ) early winter 2005 ... i  thought i was mad....

no money just about scraped fuel money to go down to London night before and park campervan in scummy west acton... so as to be on the tube early enough to get into the chopping block

I didn't know it was to be Wall..had i known i wouldnt have even got in the bus i would have chickened out...

down in the dungeons of the RCJ ... but then two clerks were there waiting...a youngish black chap  who was general clerk...and this really sexy flygirl... his right hand lassie... quite young very electrifying - energetic..

Just them and me... god i knew how Ivan Denisovic felt..or maybe Franz of Kafka fame...

But then the super smiley black fella started to be pretty grroovy and quite anarchistic with his polite conversation and the sexy smiley lassie sat up on the bench is chiming in... so I am like "what on EARTH Alice through the inverted looking glass nonsense is this place...i think they are being far too matey with me for any normal reality"

And then the big growler comes in...I am too shaky to even smile back at his huge beaming REAL MAN smile.... he was just so astoundingly polite and also knew things about me..i had deliberately planted via his buddy Kirk QC .. " so i do hope your long drive down from The Wilds of The Black mts was pleasurable...  "

"now...what to do we have here then.."

I knew from 1 minute in i had 'won'...something, but what the fuck!? as some English cannot be two faced..

And within 5 ish minutes with the biggest smile i have ever seen from anyone in this land he wrings his hands together and say "well i think the time is nigh for a test case on this matter that really has been bubbling along through government consultations and so so many lesser legal peeps at it... and i think this is the biggie ive been looking for....lets TEST... all that messy lore to now. ...right lets have the three very highest judges in the land so it becomes instant NEWlore - whatever we may decide.  automatically due top judges doin it...rated above what that pesky Parliament may take years tooing and froing upon... wink wink..."

which means you've won as 9 peeps out of ten going to this 'leave to appeal' the first Kafkaesque stage get told to bugger off back to their swamp...

(and his two fine assistant had obviously been told over cocktails or a few lines of their vile cocaine snuggled up in LJs club or whatever " this scruff from the styx coming to see us soon.....my mate Kirk QC.. told me that despite the usual hell-on-earth mad woman and couple in this instance as the papers say..he never even was impolite about her in court...  he called judges 'venal' but was civil about the poor inncoent lambs we slaughter to pay for our rum ..n coke... i can USE him as vehicle....  furthermore he's so loving to his kid as they all know he will ignore it if i call him 'arrogant' in my final judgement as we ALWAYS have to put some blackmark against them even the winner thats the deal...  hes probably to o arrogant to even care ...lets use him lets do it with him..  put the rocket up my so called venerable  colleagues.. they just make me sick...he will play the game... Anthony told me he's an honourable man, for a hippy campervan driving hairy...... even trusted him,  Anthony Kirk,  his OPOSING legal...to speak for him in court as a deliberate strategy to show Hedley what a prick he was too... clever bugger hahh hahh......as they had shaken hands over a  shifty fag in the basement... understands there comes a time when we have to trust...even our sworn worst enemy... as long as he opens up and communicates well....Kirk we know the god of that...and he usually does it from the heart too..." )

All well and good.. but still not having first idea of how to gather all those fancy 'precedents' to lay out in front of the top three growlers  - already having put in written representation calling the lot of them cunts in VERY Thomas Paine, man of the peeps rather good  Socratic  language as Wall knew very well as it was on hisdesk..

nevertheless big crowd at Appeal hearings and ... 

Anyway explore the OPTION of having a QC...  

assuming now that maybe the legal aid board may have to relent ...

A few phone calls a few lay experts " wow that was impossible, we all thought you were mad... but well ..hmm.......yes they should be blackmailable now to give you legal aid as its in open court and the judges wont want to speak with you in very public a mere peasant.."

so...whom? thats always the hardest question who to get as your legal...

The very very top  QC dog (they can represent you) of the whole of the largest division of the RCJ was Stephen Cobb QC...

an email to Stevies Clerk...

" ok i shall send you the files to lo0k at  but one request only... i have had to do so much photocopying the last few years boxes and boxes at 10p a sheet...for NO reason as all judgments thus far do confirm..NO CASE... i havent a penny left so for this London thing i have a jolly well respected lay legal pal who all the time MAckenzies at top hearings but unlike me charges 60 quid an hour   for being rather bolshy and a bit thick... i want hyim to have a look also just to give me pointers he was such a snob that he wouldnt talk to me until recently saying 'send me the papers to have a look through i havent any time but may have a moment for a quick nose inside..'  so as you will certainly be making a few copies of it all for your bundles could you please  make one extra copy and send to Tim Griffith ... blahh bvlahh.."

Instant reply: "The law does not allow us to share these papers with anyone except ourselves.." not fiuck off pay your own parcel charges" i had expected

THE best example ever of how truly thick even the very very top dogs office is who dont even reply to

" ehh.. look chappie a year ago my very very close best beloved mate Ian MAckay phoned me the day he and a few others did it.. they CHANGED THE LAW in a case at your RCJ that expressly allows litigants to 'share their papers with their legal representative.. .. formal member of the bar or lay legal advisor.'.....its the famous case of xyz... heres the citation .." [ link to its online place] .."  

And Mister 200 or probably 300 grand a year of your taxpayer dosh  legal aid funded ponce Cobb .. didnt even reply.

At which point one knows that it is ONLY ignorance via their awful so called schools - the 'public' ones.. thats  the real problem... even if personally i knew that 30 years earlier... 40 really

And had to (ohh joy!) put in an even ruder legal appeal notice (the written representation lawyers would never dare to write up as they may not get Bullingham Club boys own advantage in the showers later on if they ever tell the truth.. they all KNOW theyre not thick but wish to keep from you plebs..)

 for fun: ohh well maybe find a QC who HATES the main family division as he knows theyre all thicker than even the average lawyer ... hmmm... "anyone know an outsider"

best fun decision of life .. James Price a well known... hater of the family law gravy train....

despite his bizarre pet Mr Wolanski..

Anyway sounds like axe to grind and grudges..

QUITE THE OPPOSITE

all the below was fun and also very very evolving for me...

BUT so many i knew are confused about why they are being tyrannised and tortured so this site was an attempt to somehow engagingly bring it all a littler more to life... failed no doubt. But in sort of seemingly standard language and write ups however ALWAYS for 4 years off grid impossible to de typo - all speed typing quick scattergun

however... a far far deeper and playfully rude/ ONLY for good intent...as i do actually speak with at some length a fair few genuinely thoughful women friends the last 6 years...

The 'gonzo' version of many things is at VERY well read  https://www.ralphschism.com

which was never intended to be read by anyone but one woman  whom when i encountered her three years ago said " my my  even on Serbian tv 30 years ago we knew then your kids were so fucked up as your parents were so fucking them up.."  The most truthful UK citizen i have ever met...  sadly the rest of the UK citizens have squashed her FREEDOM to speak as i guess she wont get employment opportunities in a Brave New World of the dreadful SW which still have Victorian values of dont frighten the horses... with ANY truth...  and they all munch soma all day pretending all is well...

so she hates me for celebrating her the ONLY Brave woman i have ever met here ... whom did once speak her truth...

there we go thats the REAL job - why speak honestly...?

apart from anything else my my my it makes you feel fully centred fully alive and far far more healthy in every way...when you do...even if nobody CAN listen..

THE END of these pages .. (even if the story still needs formally publishing somehow  - which means a few months with a  shed roof and electrical socket but not in UK it seems...the meanest society in the world...and any helpers can have a juicy slice of future earnings if they ever came along.. written in a contract in blood) 

the far more fun version is at Ralph ...  thyat's only just begun

 veils lifted soon - slowly...as it isn't institutionalised or approved free speech that matters. It is how the ordinary posher bourgeois so called Guardian reading types utterly hate it..its dangerous to even share many opinions about the environment with them ,the second they may ponder " that means metoo...."

my my the nasty things they say about you...always behind your back of course

But words do have consequences.. they seem unable to think of that....

"who on earth are you..?"

 I have a 'hobby' or sorts: for ten years meandering the land and speaking with random strangers  - almost always met on the hills,  or for 2 years living aside the SW Coastal path, there, about current affairs especially environmentalism and matters  EU. The 'REAL' versions...on walks in the wilds one has trust and honour. One speaks truth. 

One of my few heroes after George Eliot is George Borrow   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Borrow who was NOT as PR painted some exotic semi Byron but a shabby lower ranking aristo who meandered the lands chronicling... what he came upon in some pub in Mid Wales or wherever. 

I am a "European"  -all my life was there - work, love, even breeding, from the age of 19ish for 20 years.. I owned a small bookshop in Hay-on-Wye from 1997 i called Acedia... primarily to be on page one of the local bookshop guide having a business name starting 'a' but also for me it fitted. It developed into a very successful rare book finding service (100s of customers a week for 5 years) 

Having schooled myself via the magnificent, and clearly scholarly in mode of reportage, books of John Pilger mid 20s (UK as evil tortuous regime as USA) one knew UK a serious problem as human rights violator and gun runner behind the spin.  And comparing the way Europeans buy books - any old tatty paperback will do its the CONTENT that matters, to the majority of British who pay for the LOOK of a book - fancy 'collectible' first edition (absurd prices)  and all that effete decadent nonsense....... acedia = of spiritual sloth.. was referring to my customers. Only one of thousands ever twigged :-)

I saw through UK 30 years ago...and the magnificent book Affluenza pressed a huge alarm button. The litterati (and BBC) lapped up Oliver James a few years but ignored his book - the content..

which stated: we (FAR more than Europe) are fucking up our kids via absurd rich twat culture  (as our icons) , celeb culture, materialism and a few other toxins...

I disowned this by FAR the most psychologically destructive culture in Europe for kids, decades ago. The data is stark: UK maybe 5 times, maybe more in  the markers:  mental health issues self harm false allegations ...in our schools, many times higher than any EU average.

I am extremely happy and have only ONE regret in life. Literally one. Only.

On this page is my big fun ITV This Morning interview with a ....big fat liar. (claiming THEY caused positive change from her lazy sofa - the smug poison in her words...they did nothing - a few like me and others did)

https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/media-on-cases.html

And i regret not telling truths.

The first untruth was accidental and incidental in that the big (transparency) legal "revolution" i alone caused was mainly for the benefit of WOMEN litigants. Incidental meaning as follows.

From 2005 i began dealing with enquiries as it was known i had won the impossible (SIMPLE, NON CASE) case... " would you give legal help / be a Mackenzie Fiend..?.you must know your onions.." Desperate people who wrongly the state was torturing via threat of child removal or unlawful removal (local bureaucrats even county representatives  making a commission one way or other on massive costs  - an evil gravy train). But the distraught mothers who called or emailed were in such a mental mess it took me far longer to begin to figure their 'truth'.  Sometimes many days of free support one on one... (I couldn't assist someone genuinely harmful to a kid)

And you can see one of UKs worst ever  self obsessed making the story about HER, journalist in action here https://www.communitycare.co.uk/2022/05/16/tv-investigation-aims-to-highlight-trauma-faced-by-families-from-wrongful-child-protection-action/   and here https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017g7d but its on youtube somewhere also as the bbc expired.  still in 2022 the mad evil social services and courts are at all sorts of evil...MY transparency law was PRIMARILY to stop that by shining a light on these "Maoists" (to quote LJ WAll in 2011 his interview to the Times)

Those women would start to call me from 2005ish and quite a few i tried to help guide their legal cases, but naturally they were SO distraught i literally didnt know what to think at first....  crazy? secret junkies/ whatever?  In that ITV This Morning show i didn't speak of it WHY the revolution was necessary as i was overwhelmed by these so hard cases - and even if 'crazy' they are still equal humans so i didnt know what to say...only very few of us - maybe 3 or 4 in the country were supporting many women coming forward having lost kids... sdo it was only a few years later i really did understand fully that many were 'innocent' totally...or could be safely HELPED to retain their kids as the 1989 Childrens act demanded the state do (they never do)

In the last few years having given up as lay legal advisor  fiveish years ago- everyone has gone far too mad - blanket BPD and i mean the men too... nevertheless i have on four occasions randomly encountered friends of women in a mess losing kids (to social service or mad psycho men who were victors in courts). I have spent hours and hours with them. Yes they although standard 'middle class' i know have serious issues inside them but have seen official papers - either court judgements or other papers such as legal advisories from lawyers or mediators.  And i can honestly say that even i  - who had seen much injustice starting  the mid 00s was shocked how retarded and mentally lobotomised the latter-day judges and other officials have become - passing judgements even worse than in the past...obvious Stalinist Kafkaesque mad stuff...  and now as nobe oif the so called activists protected my transparency law.. the MAoists managed to sneak in a defacto reversal... so they cant go PUBLIC (Louise Tickle doesnt count she will make it all about...HER)

But my other regret is speaking about fathers4justice. (and fathers). I did so (being nervous that day on the telly ) to divert the thing from myself...i was a shy and very humble person.

Fact. i was never involved,  even if Matt O Connor kindof rose further to prominence coming to see me in Portugal 2003 (illegally held no access to lawyer against international convention). The second i laid eyes on him in the gaolhouse visiting room i though " what is this fat narky  showoff arrogant showoff spivvy barrow boy doing having ANYthing to do with the public face of fatherhood????!!!!"

But the real weirder 'insight' maybe a year later i went as supporter onlooker at a famous test case of a father who was legal campaigner and there were gathered some of those famous 'Fathers'.

One sat close to me was very very bravely barracking the judge - a big one..  later i heard his story of terrible 'injustice'. The mum of their young kids had left some Home Counties  newbuild estate where they had lived, for her parents home way up north on separation.  Immoral but not illegal.  He hardly ever saw his kids...."what INJUSTICE!!!... what an evil court system!"!!"

but the only reason was that he didnt sell up (they had some equity) and  sell his quite lucrative tradesman's business..(even just the many thousand quid new van he owned would have paid a years rent on the dole elsewhere) .and MOVE to be closer to them....

Yes he may have lost out in interrupted work as he re-established elsewhere - he was getting well paid ... yes he may have had to even live in a  cheap tatty smelly hotel for some months...  rebuilding life up nearby his kids...

but the ONLY reason he didnt see his kids was the narcissistic personality disorder i have seen time and time again: go and scream shout or whatever your love in public...but do NOTHING in private to actually BE near your beloved kids.

(exactly the same as the man who stole my daughter from me behind the scenes in 2010 when he ripped up the court solution in place 6 years he hated as it showed him up for the fraud he was......these are not men nor fathers... and one reason why this country is finito...)

There is one other truth i miss communicated " mother had a barrister flown in from London as MOTHER  ( and her psycho new bloke who ran the case for her)  had been told after 2 years of false allegations in courts the judge was SO bored of  if she did not start to behave with £50K+ of public money already spent on her free legal team - me none i did my own lawyering , removing our child from her would be a valid (and just the harm they  was doing)  future step... 

one cannot regret not telling that truth as we MUST bite our lip and politick forward delicately for the child and to set example... but it may explain to you the truly smug appalling 'narcissistic' journalism we have had in uk for several decades,...

Another reason you are all in such a terminal mess.... 

maybe i should have stood up live in that interview and said " how dare you take that smug  snideish ignorant tone with me you fucking fat bitch...the stupid woman isnt here as she knows she is guilty of many lies....was also used by stupid lawyers lawfayreing against me as she was so stupid they egged her on with lies so they could profit... and thats why SHE lost...." but i never watched underclass TV so i had no idea who she was, or even what the show was... i see their victims everywhere though.

I am just a very simple bloke who learned from a  GREAT father figure Ralph Ellis yokel of the Eastern Welsh hills where we worked together out on the land in all weathers for some years.. i earned where the line is...what the basic rules are...of decent life.... and parenting... (my own father being largely absent)  and hearing the same from a handful of the 'original' counter culture who were also around my Clywidian hills base, who had perfect manners and behaviour and total sex equality.... and i simply retain these simple decent rules for life and myself..

while you all drove the kids absolutely nuts (As all schoolteachers i meet and Borrow-chat with for years now say is so)

Freely speechifying...

Not that in weird Uk one even knows what the freedoms are...

For thirteen years i haver been always cheerful...always... not one person of a fair few riffed with face to face ever sees me maudlin or depressed or mad..

('living bereavement'  - about the only clever-dick term i allow in my life, is the same as full headfuck a-year-of-the-shits bereavement if you love someone, plus the requisite 2 or 3 years still to inwardly be other - there is only having not lost someoen v close or last them..only two human states;  plus a lovely extra portion: forever... one is almost pumped up into something just as artificial  for years - a sort of living hope mode, until maybe 15 years on one has to give up... even if one must do the REAL 'work' over the years - and there are no 'services' that assist, all 'estrangmenet' 'charities' being actual conjob fraudulent organisations that got BBC coverage for their twatter, fraudulently..as they cannot 'do' anything ort even send out 'awareness' as all they want to do is 'support' 17ish year old estranged children without any extra money (available via the DSS without bothering with the conartists), not to ponder reengaging, but merely telling them they are 'right' which is insane as nobody knows ANYThing about life until they are way way into later 20s...

 

Anyway of no interest to me except i do have a little program of real interviews with the conartists at some point...way way down my list of ongoing ALWAYS life affirming riffs for 3 years at 

https://www.ralphschism.com/

...well they are unless youtoo have been brainwashed that anyone really cares about the Miss Fortune of others... and expect silly words about empathy and all that...

(you only learn well into 40s and FROM true headfucks that are real ones lasting years..like ...this one )

"ahh well you mustn't have been that dedicated a parent if you can say nowadays i wouldn't have had one second of my life any different.."

The opposite - knowing as i do having 25 years ago become attuned to the REALITY of if a parent is happy in their skin as one, and wishes to enjoy every second of their child, and thus would never dream of wasting one looking into a screen rather than into their child's eyes... i know that i was always (even for 15 years of post-child hell ) 110% dedicated...compared to 99.9% i see...

And thus did the ACTUAL best one can ever do...

which is the key to mindful real happiness.. even if living with a few splinters from the cross stabbed into ones heart ...then used as a useful framework, to hand draw and quarter...

So, what with ralphschism and more directly focused cousin https://landlope.com/ - my true joy,  somehow putting down sanely how to bounce on most of the time is all i care about...

Being extremely literary ( see https://leftovers2022.blogspot.com/ set up only for the famous Z..  assuming i could never pass them on in person) this soon to return to project is about the great life affirming, battle-on, culture.. that EUK can no longer do but some Europeans still can.

 And i sure know that Richard MAybe's Nature Cure, Helen's H is for HAwk, and whatever self pitying naval gazing failed 'self help' or how to survive truly conartist books and even the formally con artist #SaltPath (ohh how we laughed this summer  THEM caught with their pants down - me in the company of a woman drawn to that part of the world 2 years ago by their con false victimhood tale, of nothing but lies...)  all fail...as they are Disneyfied false versions of the real thing...

In them old days books were in fact written often by 'subscription'..  i dont have any social media (network) to promote any crowdfunding as i know social media is one - but not the only, reason, why the UK family especially became so dystopian... 

Anyway ... crowdfunding always bosses the beggar around by saying " you can't offer formal cut of any sales" as if that will scare away the faeries...

Me i am pragmatic. Especially as my last words sent over to the poor ghostly lass six months ago  were that all i care about is something 'formally' gets into print (even though Ralph sometimes has 4000 readers a day - god only kn0ows why i never promote it)  so that Z can see in decades tpo come that dad's marbles were EXTREMELY well rounded and all on target even moreso than ever... and thus her being used as the worst torture device in history.... hasn't actually damaged dad... and as guilt is the one lifelong real mind-bodily longest lasting poison... she must never think that.

ohh and all the competitive moaners (Ralph riffs about) ... try losing your ACTUAL identity....  11 years known of in our past region not as Simon but Esti and Simon as we were always out and about together... never mind my 'work'  - almost all unpaid, becoming a mix of promoting the peace plan  via media etc - written up as schedule 2 in public judgement (that did become part of the official divorce court paperwork EVERY parent since 2010ish had to use)  and also counselling many parents - more mums than dads' on soft landing after legal issues or civil wars...

Try losing that - all one was, and most happily was ...and always wanted to ONLY be.......  and even not having a functional skype to get back in touch with aunty back home in Antigua.. kind of looks rather pathetic...

Britain of course must have its proxies, for the real utter apocalypse within ordinary family life for the a considerable minority if not almost majority... of born and bred...

funny that...;. 

And the key to all is when you can joke about it ALL then you're cured.. even thicko Ruby Wax managed that regarding her failed self help book on mental health and ending up a few years later full on whacky ward (her words)

I got the best book ever on how to ....persist..

thats ALL YOU EVER CAN DO.... persist

 

"transparency"

(footnote for N met out walking at the bottom  )

One day soon i shall improve and simplify this story in this site. It kindof spilled over into my 'stream of consciousness' riffing site. 

ralphschism.com

But all is connected. And fundamentally as with environmentalism (all measurements say the UK environment carries on being decimated at a HIGHER rate the last decade - bird numbers reduce by double the rate they were reducing 30 years ago - RSPB data)  the real cause is lanyardism or put in simpler language 'professionalised' SOUTH EAST based 'third sector'  spin doctors running 'initiatives' meant to be there to actually change issues but in fact they operate in such a pathetic risk averse mode - sucking up to government money on the side, they only ever  take the 'don't frighten the horses' line.

We now have a great example in Families Need Fathers - even if they changed their name to Both Parents Matter. From the mid 00s the main, VERY respected charity aiming to cause 'soft landing'; after a  parental rift. And even thin with many female senior members and campaigners.

(you can see how Esti and dad were their pinups - at the press pages linked along the top)

However as  from the early 10s the government tricked everyone by 'hoodwinking' the peeps via the new CSFB bill that in fact sneaked through Parliament in the 2010 'washout'. Transparency is only two way: all or nothing. the 2006 test case had established that wider justice required it to be pretty much all the way. The CSFB sneaked back in, nothing. 

And FNF had nothing to say.... as of course ever 'actually 'campaigning' against the government meant they may get less grant funding... or miscellaneous third sector advantage... (jobs for those lovely little professional  office based London types who manage the likes of FNF) 

Well.. a month ago it is announced that a woman's lobbying organisation have seemingly managed to lobby, to reverse the FOUNDATION of modern family law. That there is a presumption via the 1989 Children's Act that both parents have contact with their child unless a VERY good reason.

... and immediately BPM,  or FNF, go into full bleating mode....

Now..it will be interesting as due to THEIR failure to also protect the transparency inherent in this legal change created alone by me, here, then.. that held for  about 8 years in reality... 

as their members are denied justice by the same old shabby system.... and parents are unjustly blanked out of their childrens' lives...i wonder if they may also realise that the ONE disinfectant - transparency,  the disinfectant of sunshine, they were too sniffy not to have held their nose and protect as necessary for extreme times especially..

is no longer available to them,  as they failed to work to protect just that transparency i had brought in at great personal cost and not even FOR us....

FAr more for the many women parents who would be wrongly attacked by the state playing games with their kids...for money  rather than do what the law required - that same one, of 1989, to assist families in a mess...  not get paid a LOT to wrench their kids FROM them ...

(see the Film Listen referred to a few years ago in write ups in this site - fabulous true to life movie)

However...

Now this is no  agreement that the 1989 needs to be reviewed... as i know there is no review or legislation that can deal with the actual problem.

I had the great privilege in the period 2003-6 of regularly dealing with at great length 7 or 8 senior 'domestic issues' journalists. All women...  from Frances Gibb legal editor of The Times to Sue Reid of The Mail to a few others (see my paper clippings) -  Tessa Cunningham and famous writer ..i forget her name..of the Torygraph... (she is so twee and rubbish) 

But every single one in our many many hour private chats would say the following " we know the courts... civil and other are absolutely FULL of women making up false allegations..."

Not men (even if the men caught up with that nasty little habit by about 15 years ago.. ), women..

And i kino0w from a decade+ of assisting others  - mainly women actually, as lay legal ... with many very serious court cases that it gets just worse...

But then there is a secondary matter that is the real primary matter i have no idea how society can deal with, which is what can only be called mass BPD.

I don't like to use any psych label (even if expert) and any other label either.  BUt there is a definite thing for at least a decade now of so many being so so completely mixed up inside about what their own 'truth' is that it must be called 'borderline personality disorder'.

But what does this mean and how does it manifest:  Almost every single one of at least another dozen of litigants i have sat down with  (over days!) the last 7 or 8 years will tell me of huge dossiers they have of 'evidence' for their case - injustice against them, and  how they are fully committed to fighting the baddies... (the same old shabby and at times quite evil lanyarded court or social services people) ..

And yet when they are given some simple first steps to put their legal fight on track - with examples of how this works or has for others... 

They nowadays never actually TAKE any next step. It is as if their whole extremely heartfelt and usually justified major oft repeated "campaign" for their justice ..is almost a  performance... a rather tragic charade they are entirely subsumed to - identifying themselves (in routine ordinary public-place encounter) as Boudica ..  on behalf of lost children, often very young...  but unable to actually ever take forward the smallest agreed next step.

To me this is in fact i have to conclude a weird form of attention speaking. Not unlike the Shannon Matthews moment .. some weird cry for help...

But they are so so so clever...so so so convincing.. often not even i - spending many hours with them talking all the relevant history time and again,  and clearly ON their 'side' can ever any more figure the real truth. Not of the 'evidence' against them - as that's usually easy - there isn't much. But whether they even intend to take forward the action required to just get a court order in their favour (for access to a child)   which has been unlawfully and lazily not facilitated by Social Worker or CAFCAS...

It all became like some mad Truman Show reality TV thing... and lots know me and how nothing gets past me.... i invented legal compromise and always rise above bickering and even the default false allegations... to find a compromise and safe future...but nobody can ever listen to that any more.... so many stuck in Alice's Looking Glass....

Now....so what happened?

Unlike every single other person in this utterly headfucked aisle..i don't moan or perform.

On January 15th 2010 AGAINST the most famous Court solution in the UK justice system ever

my daughter was stolen. (all evidence at the time she was doing BETTER than any other kid at her useless dump of a LLangorse primary school - but in fact the Head and deputy head had said so the December before in an office to me as i had small hints that the baddies were planning something and required an official meet... )

And then nearly 16 years of trying to assist her forward..

Stockholm syndrome - in our case put in by the step 'father' a true sociopath who deserted his own kids when they were young and thus couldnt be reminded someone...hadnt..., is serious. And in fact despite every single awful middle class English  woman  i have known - many sort of friends, who NEVER did anything to assist us...  "ohh....she will find her way back one day.." being so NPD mad ..  as in fact damage done to a child around the age of 11 is permanent... 

so they never do!

the worst offender is a sort of famous fake... 

https://www.ralphschism.com/p/archpointyhat.html

One day i shall write all that up fully...as only full transparency is ever going to help anyone forward in the REAL UK

where... https://www.ralphschism.com/p/amen.html gives part 1...

And you contact  UKs leading only  'estrangement' 'charity' ...  openly and kindly..

and (in contradiction to their fraudulently implied remit) they actually never ever DO anything to support ANYone in estrangement... dont even reply to the second email...

all of which is recorded and ONE day soon that tale must be fully told, too

FOOTNOTE for the 49 year old 'Real Walker' in her humble simple old walking boots on the hills this afternoon.

This precedent was the reset of the whole civil leak system. For example employment tribunals and court of protection matters (old people or those disabled) may also have issues that are by default 'gagged' - the press won't touch them, because of archaic 'privacy' matters. THis case reset that bar - what is in the interest of the supposed vulnerable person vs the citizenry6 or even 'justice' as a whole.

For example many who work in schools  - teachers, or in the care professions have false allegations against them - ask any even Steiner teacher nowadays.  If they are going to employment tribunal (eventually) in an attempt to clear their name they may be gagged by the same principles in law prior to my 2006 change.

Many such tribunals can be problematical. And the final Appeal Court is that of public opinion....  and they (the litigant being wrongly crushed by dodgy gravy train practice in such cases against her or him would have used this precedent from 2006 as their last   rightful defence " i will go public on you unless justice prevails"

And why to leave the  care profession / and the UK  - hardly any of that - false allegat5ions, happens in the EU.. your press won't tell you that.

Nor will your press talk of matters like that relayed to me this summer in the company of my friend 50 something year old 30 year NHS 'heroine' - front li9ne, operating theatres...  etc..when we sat down with her many year boss a lovely (socialistish) father of 3 daughters  - senior consultant, and also Dean of one of Oxford's largest colleges.

He told us a recent case (and only  to demonstrate that its happening ALL the time) of a new nurse on staff being admonished for dangerous practices, and she then went straight off to HR making a formal false allegation about him. Ohh and she was brown too, extra points...

He said the case would have been easy to disprove but rather than risk  'publicity' the hospital paid her off to bugger off forever with £10k of your taxpayer money...

And the only reason she made the 'claim' as she knew that's exactly how her next luxury holiday would be affordable...

My female friend was as dismayed as he was as she too knew who was the only criminal in that occasion...

Your NHS is paying i recall about 4 billion a year in legal matters. And it mushrooms. A large amount due false allegations. And i personally have met many schoolteachers who all say (once they've got to be about 52 and let of of their 'positive' but  false version of life) that the false allegations - some of course extremely distressing - life changing for the person on the receiving end,  against schoolteachers in UK,  is pandemic. A real one.

There is NO hope... the children of the millions of parents in Uk who couldnt even work out what is 'parental alienation' so ruined their kids (permanently) are coming through into society as adults and they're 10x more fucked up permanently than anyone dare admit...and it takes YEARS of actually good 'therapy' to even get close to maybe fixing